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The purpose of this website is to promote our businesses and
also to entertain with a picture, a cartoon, a joke or a thought for the day. We appreciate any feedback and welcome any questions
regarding anything we may have knowledge of. Please send questions / comments to: bobchag@yahoo.com
If the next pages on my website look kinda funky or out of order, click back on to
the "home" page and then back to the page that you were on and it should straighten out (must be a glitch in the program).
Want to see some cool Photographs?
Digital Photography by...Me!
And by the way...I now have the audio and video capabilities of putting together
slideshows and presenting them at your next birthday party, quinceanera, wedding reception etc...sorta like being your complete
visualization empresario!
Whenever I add something new to my website, I'll put down the page
number and the date, right here, to save you a little browsing time:
Page - 2(car wash) 1( Abuelito),
5(Neddie's Beauty World) 1 ( Abuelito) 1 (Abuelito) 9(George Strait in '82), 1 ( red-skinned) 1 ( Abuelito) 9 ( Mana ) 1(Abuelito)
1(Abuelito) 1 (Abuelito) 2&5 (Neddie's ) 2 (Sikscreener wanted)1( Marion tne Barbarian) 2 ( Spurs backboard ) 2 ( Breeze
at Bikini's ) 1&5 ( Photography and slideshows ) 2 (More Mariah! ) 9 (Mana) 2 ( Javelin throwin' Leryn) 1(the 'Boys are
back!) 1 (Abuelito) 1 (Abuelito)1 (Abuelito)
Date - 8-26-07, 9-30-07, 10-5-07, 10-12-07,
10-24-07, 10- 28-07, 10-31-07, 11-20-07, 11-20-07, 12-10-07, 12-22-07, 12-29-07, 1-1-08, 1-5-07, 1-5-07, 3-1-08, 3-1-08
, 3-1-08, 3-15-08 , 8-14-08, 8-14-08, 8-14-08, 9-8-08, 9-14-08 , 9-21-08.
HOOK' EM HORNS!!!
2005 NATIONAL CHAMPS
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This is the cover to the Sports Illustrated, 2006 Hall of Fame Class, Commerative Issue
(try saying that, six times, real fast). Will we ever find another Troy Aikman?
If we found a quarterback with half his talent we'd be in good shape!
Emmitt Smith - The Best
The Big 3 in Big D
Aikman, Smith and Irvin - The Glory Days
Gunslingin' Tony Romo
The Dallas Cowboys
2005 Season
It's that time again folks... THE BOYS ARE BACK!!!
Everyone asks me "What do you think about the Cowboys this year?"
If you get sick, you see a doctor. If your car breaks down, you see a mechanic. If you wanna build
a house, you see a builder. I think you know where I'm going with this. If you want to know about the Cowboys you see Abuelito
( or Grandfather, to you english speaking folks ). Abuelito was a fan since the first whistle, the first snap and that glorious
first touchdown ( which actually took a while since the 'boys didn't start out as the scoring machine that they are today
). He may be gruff, he may be crude and he will butcher the spanish language like Granzine Meat Market on a Friday ,
but he will always give you his opinion! We'll get his expert analysis of every game this season plus his comments on
training camp. Let's start with some easy questions since we don't want to max out his blood pressure before the start
of the season.
BC: Abuelito, what do you think of the Cowboys new Stadium?
Abuelito: Que suave, no mas que no cueste asta el chiquito para entrar! (Great, as long as the prices are reasonable).
BC: Abuelito, what do you think about Rowdy, the Cowboys mascot?
Abuelito: Ese payaso maricon! (He's funny).
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys Cheerleaders?
Abuelito: Estan buenas! (They're good).
BC: What about the 3-4 defense?
Abuelito: 3-4 , 4-3 , 2-5 me emporta madre! Como dice Al Davis, "Just Win Baby"! (Doesn't matter, "Just Win Baby")
BC: What do you think about the Drew Bledsoe acquisition?
Abuelito: Es dies anos menor que Vinnie, tuvo una interseption menos el ano pasado que Vinnie y no puede moverse
tan bien que Vinnie. Con eso te lo dije todo! Si juegan bien los "linemen", los corridores y los "receivers" entonses tenemos
chansa! (He's 10 years younger, he threw one less interception last year and he is not as mobile as Vinnie. If the supporting
cast plays up to their potential we"ll have a chance).
BC: You're obviously a man of few words.
Abuelito: Si. (Yes).
BC: What do you think of the triplets' induction into the Ring of Honor?
Abuelito: Primero, Aikman es un guero solo que no pueden ser tripletos. Pero los tres juntos estaban desgraciados!
Era tiempo que Jerry Jones los reconocieran por ganadole tres Super Bowls! ( The three of them together were incredible, it's
about time Jerry Jones recognized them for winning him three Super Bowls ).
BC: Joe Gibbs said that people from Dallas are ugly, care to comment?
Abuelito: Yo, obviosamente, no soy de Dallas. Estoy medio guapo, no crees?
No me mires asi pendejo, estoy jugando! Creo que ese cara de papa aguada
no tiene espejos en su casa! ( I'm obviously not from Dallas, I'm kinda handsome
don't you think? Don't look at me like that stupid, I was only kidding! ( He said, after
misinterpreting my shocked reaction to his comment - BC ) I guess Joe Gibbs doesn't have mirrors at his house).
BC: Thank you. ( I said, trying not to look him in the eye )
BC: Abuelito, what do you think of the Cowboys' performance against the Arizona Cardinals?
Abuelito: Como me duele la cabeza! ( My head hurts! )
BC: Abuelito, are you allright, you look pretty bad.
Abuelito: Esos pinche Cowboys me hacen tomar mas que lo que queria. ( The Cowboys made me drink more than I wanted
to. )
BC: Could I offer you some aspirin and a glass of water?
Abuelito: Agua!? No tienes una Miller Lite fria? ( Water? Do you have cold beer? )
BC: Sorry, how about some orange juice?
Abuelito: Una Bud? ( A Bud? )
BC: Abuelito, I don't have any alcoholic beverages.
Abuelito: Pendejo. ( Stupid! ) ( He says under his breath and I pretend not to hear- BC
)
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys?
Abuelito: Que te dije antes joven? La pinche linea ofensiva es ofensiva! Tercero y cinquenta, que chingados es
eso? Jacob Rogers y Torrin Tucker no valen lo que tapa un gato! ( What did I tell you before? The offensive line is offensive.
Third and fifty yards to go? Jacob Rogers and Torrin Tucker need to dig themselves out of a hole. )
BC: They were pretty bad, huh?
Abuelito: " Pretty bad, huh?" ( he says sarcastically ) Valerion madre! Los unicos que fueron a jugar eran los
pinche kickers! Que lastima! ( The only Cowboys that showed up to play were the kickers. )
BC: Perhaps the offensive line needs a little time to jell.
Abuelito: Esos pinches gordos ya son Jell....O! ( They are Jello. )
BC: That was pretty clever Abuelito, any closing comments?
Abuelito: Me duele la cabeza y nececito medecina. ( My head hurts and I need medicine. )
BC: Do you need a ride to the pharmacy?
Abuelito: Idiota, lleva me a la tienda para que me compres un sies! ( Idiot, take me to he store so that you
can buy me a six pack. )
BC: o.k.
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys defeated the Seahawks, were you impressed?
Abuelito: Si les ganamos a los otros pajaros entonces estare impressionado. Los pinche Aguilas son los que tenemos
que destruir! Pero si, jugaron bien DeMarcus Ware, Justin Berioult y Julius Jones. Porque no jugaron a Tyson Thompson? Ya
ves, si no lo aguardan, un equipo como los Texans lo van a levantar de seguro! ( The Eagles is the team that we need to beat.
Ware, Berioult and Jones played well but why didn't they play Tyson Thompson. If they don't keep him, a team like the Texans
will pick him up, for sure!)
BC: Bill Parcells just turned 64, would like to wish him happy birthday?
Abuelito: No lo creo! Ese cabron es menor que yo? ( I don't believe it, he's younger than me?)
BC: Abuelito, you don't look a day over...
Abuelito: Orale Loco! No estamos hablando de mi. Pero te voy a decir, las viejas todavia me seguien. ( Watch
it dufus, we're not talking about me, but if you must know, the ladies still chase after me.)
BC: Abuelito, you are a ladies man?
Abuelito: Las viejas te seguien cuando cuelgas como un... ( the ladies chase you when you have a lot to
offer.)
BC: Abuelito, this is a family oriented website, we can't speak in that manner!
Abuelito: Perdoname... pero si no me crees pregunta le a la senorita Empinada...Ahum... la senorita Empanada.
( Sorry... but if you don't believe me ask Miss Poundcake.)
BC: Abuelito! Back to football. Did you see Taco Wallace make some good catches for the Seahawks?
Abuelito: Ni un Mexicano le nombraba Taco a su hijo! Le llamavas Hamborguesa a un hijo tuyo? ( No Mexican
would name his son Taco, would you name your son Hamburger?)
BC: Good point! Up Next, the Texans.
Abuelito: Traemelos! ( Bring 'em on! )
BC: Abuelito, where have you been? The public has missed your expert analysis of the Cowboys/Texans game.
Abuelito: Los Cowboys jugadon bien el Sabado pasado. La defencia jugo bien especialmente Roy Williams. Le puso
una chinga a los recievedores de Houston. Drew Bledsoe, Julius Jones, Patric Crayton y Tyson Thompson jugadon excelente. Pedo
quando ellos juegan bien, todos se olvidan de la linea offensiva. Si ellos no fuegan bien los de mas no valen madre!
Romo tambien se aviento!
Justin Beriault, Dat Nguyen, Rob Petitti y Lousaka Polite, que clase de nombres son esos? Creo que el pinche
Parcells quiere complicar me vida mas que lo ya esta. Necesitan nombres Mexicanos como el de mi nieto, Carmelito Ygnacio Zapata
de San Antonio, no cres? ( The Cowboys played well Saturday , especially the defense and Roy Williams. He really put the hurt
to the Houston recievers. The offensive stars played well but, without that front line playing up to their capabilities, the
would be ordinary. What's up with the funny last names? They need to use Mexican names like my grandsons')
BC: Actually, I prefer simple names like Joe, Sue and Bob.
Abuelito: Tu estas "simple", loco! ( You're simple, looney! )
BC: Abuelito, it seems to me that you avoided my first question.
Abuelito: Bueno, te voy a decir pero no quiero que lo pongas en tu pinche website, claro? ( I will tell you,
but I don't want you to put it in your fascinating website )
BC: Si. ( Yes )
Abuelito: No sabia que hablabas espanol, tonto! ( I didn't know that you spoke spanish, fool! )
BC: Actually, that was the extent of it.
Abuelito: Pendejo! Bueno, el sabado pasado fuy a ver el partido con mi nieto Reyes y sus amigos. Nos echamos
unas frescas y cuando se acavo la cerveza, Rey saco una botella de tequila. Los machos no toman solo un tragito, y yo les
eva ensenar a esos bebes como toma un hombre! Me chinge la mitad de la pinche botella, contoy guzano! En
tiempo, andaba bailando cumbias y cantando como James Brown!
( Silly, OK, Saturday I watched the game with my grandson Reyes, and of course, we had a few beers. We ran out
of beer and Rey busted out a bottle of Tequila. Macho men don't just take a little swig. I was going to show these babys how
a real man drinks! I finished half the bottle, including the worm. Before you knew it, I was singing and dancing. )
BC: I don't see that as a problem, I believe everyone is entitled to a small indescretion occasionally.
Abuelito: " Indescretion" ( He says sarcastically ) Pendejo! dejame acabar! Las ultimas palabras que requerdo
fueron " Road Trip ". ( Dummy, let me finish, the last words I remember were " Road Trip" )
BC: Abuelito, you don't remember where you went?
Abuelito: No me interruptas, cara de papa! Espero que no tuve relaciones intimas! ( Don't interrupt me, Mr. Potato
Head! I hope that I did'nt have sex! )
BC: Why abuelito? That is ordinarily a pleasant experience.
Abuelito: No cuando despiertas en Tijuana con los calsones al reves!!! ( Not when you wake up in Tijuana with
your underwear on backwards!!! )
BC: I see... Up Next for the Cowboys... the Jaguars.
Abuelito: Van a jugar los "rookies". Yo espero la estacion regular. ( The rookies will play primarily. I'm waiting
for the regular season. )
BC: As do I... and I appreciate your candor as well (I think).
BC. - Abuelito, did you happen to catch the Cowboy/ Jaguar game?
Abuelito: Crees que pajados maman? Por supuesto, " Too Tall"! ( Do you think birds drink through a straw? Of
course, Too Tall Jones!)
BC: - Thats an obvious quip concerning my vertically challenged stature. You seem to like insulting me as much
as you like the Cowboys, Abuelito.
Abuelito: - Mas! ( More!)
BC: - You seem angry Abuelito, have I offended you?
Abuelito: - Me prometiste que no evas a publicar la ultima communicacion. Y luego ayi esta para todo el mundo
que vea! ( You promised not to post the last interview on your website, yet there it is for all the world to see! )
BC: - I did'nt see incriminating information in our interview and I excercised journalistic freedom.
Abuelito: - Voy a tomar ejercicio con tu cabeza redonda! ( I'm going to excercise with your round head.)
BC: - I sincerely apologize. But I must warn you, I have belt in Judo.
Abuelito: - Judo? Que chingaos es eso? Yo tengo una faja cafe, prieta y roja, en Chingasos del Barrio! ( What's
Aikido? I have a brown, black and red belt in, Kick Your Butt in the Neighborhood! )
BC: - It was an error in judgement on my part and it will never happen again.
Abuelito: - Entonces te perdono... "Lucky Charms"! ( in that case I forgive you, leprechuan.)
BC: - Abuelito!
Abuelito: - Es la ultima ves que te voy a insultar, joven. ( That was my last insult to you, kid. )
BC: - Care to comment on the game, Abuelito?
Abuelito: - Buen juego! Parece que estamos listos para la estacion regular. ( Good game! I think the Cowboys
are ready for the regular season.)
BC: - After a good series of running the football, Coach Parcells walked up to Tyson Thompson and told him he
had made the team. Were you pleased?
Abuelito: - Si, cuando un joven trabaja duro y juega de corazon, uno tiene que ensenarle respeto! ( When a youngster
works hard and plays with heart, he gains respect.)
BC: - Care to comment on the acquisition of Peerless Price?
Abuelito: - Terry Glenn tiene historia de maleses y Patrick Crayton es bueno pero joven sin mucha experencia.
Necesitaban un veterano que puede jugar. ( Terry Glenn has a history of getting hurt and Patrick Crayton while good,
is still inexperienced. We needed a veteran that can still play.)
BC: - Four days until the start of the Cowboys 2006 season. Do you have any predictions?
Abuelito: - Si, los Cowboys van a ganar mas que perder, le ganan a los Chargers con tres puntos y
me voy a poner bien "cuete" el domingo! ( The Cowboys will win more games than they lose this year, they will beat the
Chargers by three points and come Sunday, I'll be lit like a roman candle! )
BC: - I predict a Super Bowl appearance for the Cowboys, they will beat the Chargers by seventeen points
and with my chips, hot sauce and Big Red, I too, will party like an animal.
Abuelito: - Pendejo! ( dork )
Cowboys 28 Chargers 24
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys defeated the Chargers. This was their first opening day win in five years! To
defeat a viable contender like the Chargers, the Cowboys have surely reacquired the respect that they used to own in
days past. To watch them play in this manner has reassesed Cowboy fans' expectation of a resurgence in this proud organization.
In other words, this a good day to be a Cowboy fan!!!
Abuelito: Ya acabaste? Piensava que querias mi opinion de el partido. Si o no? ( Are you finished? I thought
you wanted my expert analysis of the game?)
BC: Sorry Abuelito, I guess that I am still a tad giddy over the victorious outcome! Please,
give us your analysis.
Abuelito: Primero, "giddy"( he says sarcastically ), comienzaron con cinco penaltudas en sucescivo. Dije entre
mi, aqui vamos otra ves! Pero, no! Se amarradon los pantalones y comienzaron la chinga! Es verdad que los Chargers son un
buen equipo, pero este dia los Cowboys fueron mejor! Tanto tiempo de esperar que jugaran de corazon. Si, es un buen dia, por
supuesto! ( The Cowboys started the game with five penalties in a row. I thought to myself, here we go again! But no, they
toughed it out and began playing with heart! It is a good day to be a fan!)
BC: Overall, l thought the team played a well rounded game.
Abuelito:" Well rounded?", Crees que Jose Cortez y el equipo especial jugaron bien? Ese pendejo pataliava la
pelota hasta la "end zone" todo el tiempo en el "pre-season", pero ayer, valio madre! Los pinche Chargers comiensaron en el
lado de los Cowboys dos veces! Estos tienen que mejorar! ( Do you think Jose Cortez and the special teams played well?
In the pre-season he would kick the ball into the end zone every time. Yesterday, he sucked! The Chargers started on the Cowboys
side of the field twice! This needs to improve! )
BC: I see your point. How about the Offense and the and the great defensive stand at the end?
Abuelito: La ofenciva jugo bien. La linea le dio tiempo a Drew Bledsoe y el hiso unas beunas tiradas. Patrick
Crayton fue la estrella de la offensia, pero en verdad, todos jugaron bien. Con Julius Jones, Keyshawn, Jason Witten, Terry
Glenn y ahora Patric Crayton, estos liones estan listos para la caceria! La defencia tambien jugo bien, no gracias a Jose
Cortez, que los hiso comienzar con las espaldas a la pader! Glover, Nguyen, y los gatos jovenes, Ware, Spears y Canty,
en tiempo, van a ser liones!!! Roy Williams, el lion principal, ahora tiene compania en la forma de Travis Henry. Henry
y Arron Glenn fue dinero buen gastado en el parte de Jerry Jones!
( The offensive line gave Bledsoe time and he delivered some good passes. Patrick Crayton was the offensive star,
but in reality, everyone played well. Jones, Johnson, Witten, Glenn and now Crayton, are lions ready for the hunt. The defense
played well considering they played with their backs to the wall, thanks to Jose Cortez and poor tackling on special teams.
Glover, Nguyen and the new cats, Ware, Spears and Canty will, in time, be lions as well! The lion king, Roy Williams
now has good company in the form of Travis Henry. Henry and Arron Glenn was money well spent on Jerry Jones' part.)
BC: Did you watch the New Orleans Saints defeat Carolina?
Abuleito: Quien no vido ese partido? Los Saints jugaron inspirados! Lo siento para la jente de New Orleans. Le
mande parte de mi cheque de seguro social a la cruz roja y no mas pude comprar un sies durante el partido. Pero, ese
tambien, fue dinero buen gastado. ( Who did'nt watch that game? The Saints played inspired football. I feel for the people
of New Orleans and I sent the Red Cross part of my Social Security check. I only had enough money to buy a six pack for the
Cowboy game but the money I sent, again, was money well spent! )
BC: Thank you Abuelito. ( I said, with a renewed respect for this gruff old man. )
Cowboys 13 Redskins 14
BC: Abuelito, are you alright? You look terrible! Like the rest of us, you probably had to drown your sorrows
last night. Correct?
Abuelito: Negativo, loco! Celebre porque los Cowboys me ensenaron otra manera de preder. Por estar pendejos!!
Para ser un champion, los jugadores buenos juegan bien cuando tienen que jugar bien. Roy Williams y Aaron Glenn fueron quemados
una ves por Santana Moss. Pero en lugar de piensar " Tal ves juega bien este cabron y vale mas no dejarlo correr libre",
pero no! En ves de darle un chichon en la linea, lo dejaron correr como un relampago, y los quemo de vuelta! Esa era
la primer pendejada. Cuando nesesitan un primero bajo, puedes contar que Flozell Adams va tener una penaltia. Drew Bledsoe,
con prisa, ase unas tiradas horribles. Sean Peyton todavia no sabe manijar juegos consistamente. Cuando necesitan quatro yardas,
porque corren solo por tres??? Es locura!!! ( No fool, I celebrated because the Cowboys showed me another way to lose, by
being stupid! Champions play well when they have to play well. Roy Williams and Aaron Glenn got burned once by Santana Moss. Intead
of realizing that he should'nt be given a lot of room to run and to bump him on the line or play him closer, they let him
burn them again! That was the first stupidity. When the Cowboys need a first down, you can count on Flozell Adams to get a
penalty. Drew Bledsoe, when under pressure made some horrible throws. Sean Peyton can't call a consistantly good game. When
you have a third and ten or a fourth and four, why is a three yard play called? This is crazy! )
BC: There were obviously some mistakes made Abuelito, but this is only the second game.
Abuelito: Estos eran los PINCHE REDSKINS pendejo! Perder nolease, pero no a los pinche Redskins!!!! ( These were
the freakin' Redskins, dummy! It doesn't matter if we lose one, but not ot the G**#**mn Redskins!!! )
BC: Granted, it was a bitter pill to swallow, but I feel that the Cowboys will learn from their mistakes and
still have a great season.
Abuelito: Vives en fantacia, estupido. Hablando de fantacia, lleva me a la tienda para que me compres un seis
y para ver la chica Marisol! ( You live in a fantasy world, stoop. Speaking of fantasy, take me to the store so that you can
buy me a six pack and I can check out Marisol! )
Cowboys 34 49ers 31
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys came back from a 12 point deficit in the 4th quarter to beat San Francisco, was that
an awesome game or what?
Abuelito: Me acabe las unas de cena, seguido con un corriente de cerveza fria! ( I had my fingernails for
dinner followed by a beer chaser.)
BC: That was definitely a nail biter. Why do you think the past three games have been so close?
Abuelito: Pienso yo que los vaqueros todavia estan creciendo. En tiempo van a madurar y poder jugar juntos con
la experenica de los mejores equipos. ( I think the Cowboys are still growing and in time, they will mature, and be able to
play together as a team like the best in the league.)
BC: The Cowboys showed a lot of character in their ability to come back and not quit.
Abuelito: Si, Este equipo me aquerdan de mi. ( This team reminds me, of me. )
BC: They remind you of your resilliance, in your ability to partake of the grape and still be able to maintain
a part time job?
Abuelito: Nolease que un hombre tome lo que toma, no mas que pueda mantener sus negocios. Muchas veces me dice
mi vieja," Viejo porque mo dejas de tomar?" Mi contestacion? Porque yo no quiteo! ( It doesn't matter how much a man drinks,
as long as he can maintain his business. My wife always nags for me to quit drinking. My answer? I'm not a quitter! )
BC: Abuelito, there are many reasons for a person to quit drinking, your health for example, wouldn't you want
to live long enough to see the Cowboys in the Super Bowl again?
Abuelito: Para siempre es muy largo, loco! ( Forever is a long time , Dummy. )
BC: I think I've seen that look in your eye before Abuelito. O.K. I'll take you to the tienda ( the store).
Cowboys 13 Raiders 19
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys had another bad game.
Abuelito: Pinche Arnold Medina! ( Rotten Arnold Medina! )
BC: I beg your pardon?
Abuelito: Este jugador cabron, Medina, me apeusto una lata de Posole que ganavan los pinches Raiders! ( This
player, Medina, bet me a can of Posole that the Raiders would win. )
BC: A can of Posole? A soup made of hominy and pork, Correct?
Abuelito: Si. ( yes )
BC: That's not so bad Abuelito. It can't cost more than a few dollars.
Abuelito: No pendejo, el que pierde tiene que comerse una lata de Posole! ( No crazy, the loser has to eat a
can of Posole! )
BC: I can't say that I have ever tried Posole but from your demeanor I get the impression that it isn't
very delectable.
Abuelito: Muy chingon, "delectable"! Es mierda, joven, pura mierda! ( Delectable? mister big stuff! It's crappy!
)
BC: Perhaps you can spice it up a bit to make it somewhat tasty.
Abuelito: Si, con una lata de mierda! Dios, quitame este pendejo! ( Sure, with a can of poop! God, get this fool
away from me! )
BC: Abuelito, please, your analysis of the game.
Abuelito: Cuando mi vieja necesita algo hecho en la casa me hace una lista: Viejo, pinta mi cuarto, lava
los trastes, saca la basura o cuelgame esas cortinas... ( When my woman wants something done around the house she has a list:
paint my room, wash the dishes, take out the trash or hang those curtains for me... )
BC: Those are called honey do's. I have a big list that I am currently...
Abuelito: No me interrumptes, chiquio! Nolease cuantos "honey do's" yo a hecho, solo una noche del pedo con los
amigos y otra ves valgo madre! ( Don't interrupt me, small fry! Regardless of how many honey do's I accumulate, one night
out with the boys and I'm back to worthless! )
BC: I don't understand how this relates to the game, Abuelito.
Abuleito: Mira, "Einstein", Drew Bledsoe a veces hace unas pases orribles y luego despues, hace un pase lindo
como el que le tiro a Terry Glenn. Es "Inconsistant'! ( Look " Einstein", Sometimes Drew Bledsoe throws some ugly passes and
then later he throws a beautiful pass like the one to Terry Glenn. He is inconsistant. )
BC: Abuelito I am impressed with your mastery of the english language!
Abuelito: Eso lo dijo Troy Aikman, tapado. ( Troy Aikman said that, dummy. )
BC: I see... What do feel is the answer to the Cowboys' woes?
Abuelito: Bill Parcells tiene que hecharle fuego en las nalgas a sus jugadores y a Sean Peyton en bolla. ( Bill
Parcells needs to light a fire under his players ass, and Sean Peyton as well. )
BC: I don't understand "en bolla". Some dialects have a propensity to be misunderstood.
Abuelito: Como sea, yo no soy de Espana o Mejicles y como dice mi caramiada... perdon... mi camarada, Joel
Flores, si no te gusta "Vamonos a la chingada"! ( Whatever, I'm not from Spain or Mexico and as my friend Joel would
say, if you don't like it, get out of my space! )
BC: Right... OK, up next, Philly.
Abuelito: Van a tener que jugar como demonios, pero todo es posible. ( They will have to play like the devil
but anything is possible. )
BC: Do you need me to take you to the store Abuelito?
Abuelito: Gracias, ahora no, chico. ( Not today son. )
BC: Huh? ( I thought to myself, in amazement.)
Cowboys 33 Eagles 10
BC: "How 'bout them Cowboys", Abuelito? This was the best overall game in the Bill Parcells era. The offense
and the defense dominated the mighty Eagles. At a Saturday night meeting, offensive coordinator Sean Peyton told the
team " We are going to attack". Boy did they ever! The blitzkrieg started on the very first play from scrimmage and the Parcells
style of ball control offense, ended. The Cowboys took the game to the Eagles. They seemed stunned and never recovered.
It was a thing of beauty for Cowboy fans everywhere! In my opinion, the offensive line deserves most of the credit. Bledsoe
had time to throw effectively and holes were opening up for the backs. Oh yeah, and all the defense did was shut
down the Eagles' league best offense! I gotta tell you, Terrell Owens wasn't going to pose on our star this year. And even
if he had, you can bet that Roy Williams would be there to kick his butt off of it! I have seen butt whuppings in my
time but...
Abuelito: Ya acabaste, panfilo? A veces se te va la onda. Quieres hoyier mi opinion? ( Are you finished, idiot?
You have a tendency to lose it. Do you want my opinion?)
BC: Sorry Abuelito, but the thought of Terry Glenn streaking down the sideline, Jason Witten playing like the
pro bowl player he is, Julius Jones and Tyson Thompson running wild against the defense, Drew Bledsoe throwing the ball
ala Troy Aikman, Jose Cortez kicking field goals from further and further away and Roy Williams and the defense "laying
the wood" on the Eagles makes me want to turn cartwheels!
Abuelito: "Turn cartwheels", de verdad que te gusto.( He says sarcastically) Dejame decirte la verdad
antes que te sucies los pantalones. Un juego no hace un estacion completo. Pero, que bueno que le dieron la torre a los
pinche Aguilas! McNabb y Owens ahora saben quien son sus papases! ( You must have really enjoyed the game to do cartwheels!
Let me tell you how it is before you soil your pants. One game does not a season make. But, it's good to see the Cowboys beat
up on the stinkin' Eagles. McNabb and Owens now know "who's yer daddy"! )
BC: Yes, who would have thought that the "attack" mode would demoralize one of the best defenses in the
league?
Abuelito: Los muchachos necesitavan tiempo para jugar como un equipo de experencia. ( The boys needed time to
play together as a unit. )
BC: I think they have advanced to the next level!
Abuelito: Si, estavan mas calientes que Pamela Anderson en un pinche bikini. ( Yes, they were hotter
than Pam Anderson in a skimpy bikini. )
BC: I must concur, but do you think that their hot streak can continue against Eli Manning and the Giants?
Abuelito: Le van a sacar los pedos a Peyton chiquio. ( They will make little Peyton react nervously. )
BC: Abuelito, I brought you your favorite kind of beer... iced down and free!
Abuelito: Gracias, pero ahora no, chico. ( Thank you, but not today .)
BC: Huh? ( I said to myself in disbelief... again!)
Cowboys 16 Giants 13
BC: Abuelito, how have you been? I have been trying to reach you.
Abuelito: Appenas llegamos de Dallas. Fuimos a ver los Cowboys Y los Gigantes! ( We just got back from
Dallas. We went to the Cowboys/Giants game.)
BC: Another nail biter, for sure! How was the crowd at Texas Stadium?
Abuelito: Pura locura! Yo estaba bien alto... ( It was crazy, I was really high...)
BC: Drugs? You were high on drugs, Abuelito? Please say it isn't so!
Abuelito: Pendejo! Estavamos sentados arriba en la seccion de naris sangrientas. ( Crazy! We were up in the nose
bleed section! )
BC: Sorry Abuelito, I misunderstood...
Abuelito: Dejame decirte un chiste:
Un nenito fue a cortarse el pelo. Se sento en la sillita de madera que usan para los ninos y las patitas todavilla
le cuelgavan. El barbero le pregunto al nene, "Como quieres que te corte el pelo?". "Ay como se mire mejor" respondio
el chiquito. "Quieres que te corte las patillas?" le pregunto el barbero. Enojado, el nenito le contesto, " Como quires
que camine, con las manillas?" ( Please ask a tex-mex speaking person to explain this joke to you because it really does
not translate well - BC )
BC: That was funny abuelito. This is conjecture on my part, but, I feel a hint of sarcasm in your banter.
Abuelito: Aveces cuando uno dice una palabra, un pendejo lo comprende mal! ( Sometimes when a person uses a word
an idiot will misinterpret.)
BC: That would be a homonym, correct?
Abuelito: Correcto! Ala otra dejame acabar de hablar! ( Correct, next time let me finish my sentance! )
BC: I'm sorry abuelito, I shouldn't jump to conclusions.
Abuelito: Si, no es bueno a "jump to conclusions" porque los Cowboys aveces juegan bien y lluego mal. Estan arriba
de su division pero estan ayi con un poco de suerte. ( It is not good to jump to conclusions, the Cowboys play good and then
sometimes they play bad. They are at the top of their division but they had some luck getting there.)
BC: They were lucky to beat the Giants?
Abuelito: Si, aveces es mejor tener suerte que estar perros! ( Yes, sometimes it is better to be lucky than good!
)
BC: Yes, luck of the fortuitous nature is always best but we were sitting on pins and needles there for a while.
Abuelito: Si, prefiero una patada en las canicas. ( Yes, I would rather be kicked in the marbles! )
BC: Any predictions for the Seattle game?
Abuelito: Si, los Cowboys y los Seahawks van a jugar el domingo. ( Yes, the Cowboys and the Seahawks will play
Sunday.)
BC: Allrighty then... A bold prediction. I'll see you after the game. Thank you, Abuelito.
Cowboys 10 Seahawks 13
BC: Abuelito, another close loss! How can the Cowboys score 33 points against the Eagles and then come out so
flat against the Seahawks?
Abuelito: Es facil, mijo. Valen Madre! Son como los caramiadas en el trabajo.
( Easy, they suck! They are like the gang at work.)
BC: Excuse me?
Abuelito: Si el mayordomo no los regana seguidito, los flojos no van a trabajar duro! Parcells les va a dar una
reganada y van a jugar bien contra los Cardinales. ( If the boss isn't on their butts all the time, the fluffers won't
work as hard! Parcells will chew on some butt and the Cowboys will play well against the Cardinals. )
BC: Jose Cortez was waived this week, do you feel that was warranted?
Abuelito: Ese sinverjuensa misteo la "field goal" y lluego mira al detenedor como que le quiso echar la
culpa. Vamonos a la chingada, Cortez! ( That loser misses the field goal and then he looks at the holder as if he was
to blame! Good riddance, Cortez! )
BC: Drew Bledsoe threw an errant pass with only seconds to go in the game. What could he have been thinking?
Abuelito: La mejor pregunta es, Quien le dijo que tirada un pinche pase? Puras pendejadas! ( A better question
would be, who instructed him to throw a pass? That was a dumb call.)
BC: Again, the defense played well against a good offense.
Abuelito: Que lastima que la defencia no puede jugar offencivo tambien. ( Too bad the defense can't play offense.)
BC: I hope the Cowboys can turn this losing trend around.
Abuelito: Que no se empongan a perder! Hay nombre para equipos que juegan asi. ( As long as they don't get used
to losing! There are names for teams like that.)
BC: Houston Texans?
Abuelito: "Losers"! No saqes mis modos, Loco. Yo soy el comidiante! ( Losers! Don't copy my ways, I'm the
comedian here! )
Marion Barber - 2 touchdowns 127 yards
BC: How 'bout them Cowboys, Abuelito? You were right, Bill Parcells challenged the team and they responded with
a resounding win. Would it be fair to extrapolate on the Cowboys' emergence as a power in the NFC East?
Abuelito: Como dices, Jose Collejiante? ( What did you say, Joe College?)
BC: Ahem... The Cowboys continue to improve,especially Marion Barber. Would you say that he was the hero
of the game?
Abuelito: Heroe? Si jugo bien. Todos jugadon bien. Pero heroe? Quien sabe. La gente usan esa palabra mucho estos
dias. Michael Jordan, Emmitt Smith, Nolan Ryan, Roger Staubach, Wayne Gretzsky y Dale Earnhart, ellos eran buen ejemplos
de atletas que se portaban bien en juego y en la vida. Pienso yo que nosotros mismos tenemos que ser heroes. Unas
quantas semanas pasadas, oi por causualidad a los nietos decir, "Mira! Abuelito esta borracho otra ves!" Desde ese tiempo,
decidi que ya no iva tomar enfrente de los ninos. ( Hero? He played well, they all played well. But hero, who knows? Jordan,
Smith etc...are all good examples of athletes that were admired on and off the field. I believe that we need to be our own
heroes! A few weeks ago, I overheard my grandchildren say," Look, Abuelito is drunk, again!" I decided not to drink in front
of the children again! )
BC: That explains your declining my offer to buy your favorite beer ( cold and free).
Abuelito: Pero cuando juegan los Cowboys, No apuestes que voy estar sobrio! ( But when the Cowboys play, don't
bet on me being sober! )
BC: Will you work on curtailing your language?
Abuelito: Paso a paso, pendejo! No tengo que ser tu heroe! ( One step at a time dummy, I don't have to be your
hero! )
BC: That's OK, Abuelito. ( You have my respect, regardless, I thought to myself )
BC: The Cowboys have a bye next week. Will you root for the Texans or perhaps the Saints?
Abuelito: No, tengo que lavar mi camion. ( No, I have to wash my truck.)
BC: I agree, it doesn't feel like football season during the Cowboys' bye week. The Cowboys play the Eagles in
two weeks on Monday night.
Abuelito: Dos semanas de tortura! ( Two weeks of torture! )
BC: Exactly! See you in two weeks. Thank you, Abuelito!
Cowboys 21 Eagles 20
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys beat the Eagles in the last 2 minutes of the game Monday night. Your impression?
Abuelito: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Howard Cosell".
BC: Abuelito that sounded just like Howard Cosell!
Abuelito: Ni modo loco! Quieres oir John Wayne? ( Of course ninny! Do you want to hear John Wayne? )
BC: Uh...sure...why not?
Abuelito: "The Cowboys are kickin' ass, right...pilgrim?"
BC: Abuelito that was amazing! You're a great impressionist!
Abuelito: Otro mas chico. "smooch", "smooch", "smooch"! ( One more. kiss, kiss,kiss! )
BC: Someone blowing kisses?
Abuelito: No estupido, es Terrell Owens besandole las nalgas a Andy Reid! ( No astute one, It's Terrell Owens
kissing Andy Reids' ass! )
BC: I, like the Eagles, have had just about enough of Terrell Owens.
Abuelito: Te voy a decir un cuento: Una ves estaban una tortuga y un escorpion en un lado del mar. El escorpion
nececitava ir al otro lado. El escorpion le dijo a la tortuga, "Si me llevas al otro lado no te mato". La tortuga, no
quieriendo a morir, le contesto "suevete en mi espalda y te llevo". A la mitad del mar el escorpion le dio un piquete bruto
a la tortuga. La tortuga le pregunto "porque me picaste?, ahora los dos vamos a morir." "Porque soy escorpion, eso es
lo que yo hago" respondio el escorpion. ( Let me tell you a story: once there was a turtle and a scorpion on one side of the
lake. The scorpion needed to get to the other side. The scorpion said to the turtle " If you take me to the other side I won't
kill you". The turtle, not wanting to die, tells the scorpion, "Get on my back and I will take you across". Halfway
across the lake the scorpion gives the turtle a powerful sting. The turtle asks, " Why did you do that? Now we are both going
to die". "I am a scorpion that is what I do" was his answer. )
BC: A fitting tale, T.O. has had several chances to show that he can be a team player and has disappointed every
time. The Cowboys have gone back to their conservative style of play and they play 3 games in 11 days. Will they
be able to compete against the Broncos?
Abuelito: Los Broncos juegan tres juegos en doce dias, van a estar igual de cansados. ( The Broncos play 3 games
in 12 days. Both teams will be equally tired. )
BC: Good point. Roy Williams was the star Monday night. Sunday he will go against another, and equally talented,
Roy Williams. Any predictions?
Abuelito: Si, los Cowboys ganan el Domingo con catorse puntos, el Dia de Gracia ganan con tres puntos y
voy a comer chingos de Guajolote! ( Yes, the Cowboys will win Sunday by 14 points, Thanksgiving by 3 points and I will
eat lots and lots of turkey! )
BC: As will I, thanks Abuelito!
Cowboys 20 Lions 7
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys won again! That's three games in a row! Is it my imagination or are the
Cowboys one of the top teams in the NFC?
Abuelito: Si le ganan a los Broncos, entonces si los Cowboys van a ser unos de los mejores equipos.
( Yes, if the Cowboys beat the Broncos the will be on of the best teams in the league.)
BC: Was it my imagination or was Drew Bledsoes' passing kinda off?
Abuelito: "Kinda?" Estaba tirando mierda! Tienen suerte que pueden ganar con Bledsoe tirando
asi. Cuando le juegen a un buen equipo no ganan con Bledsoe jugando mal! ( He threw crappy! They are lucky to win with Bledsoe
playing so badly. The can't beat a good team with Bledsoe playing this way! )
BC: The Cowboys were able to run the ball consistantly but they seemed to settle for a conservative
game plan or did I just imagine that?
Abuelito: Ya corta tu pinche imaginacion! Ya no estas en Kansas, Dorotea! Los juegos que faltan van
a ser dificil de devedas! Y todos tienen que jugar bien. Hablando de Kansas, voy ir al partido contra los Kansas City Chiefs
en Deciembre. ( Enough of your imagination! You're not in Kansas anymore Dorothy!
These last few games will all be tough, and for real! The whole team will have to play well.
Speaking of Kansas, I am going to the Kansas City/ Dallas game in December. )
BC: That should be a great game. Would you mind bringing back a souvenier for me? I would really treasure
a Jerry Jones bobblehead.
Abuelito: WHOP!!! ( he slaps me on the back of the head -BC ) Hay esta tu bobblehead, cabezon! Orale...
te triego algo, pero va ser una sopresa. ( SLAP! There's your bobblehead... bighead! OK...I'll bring you something
but it will be a surprise.)
BC: Great! Everyone loves surprises. Thank you Abuelito. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!
Abuelito: Tu tambien, joven. ( You too, kid.)
Cowboys 21 Broncos 24
BC: Another demoralizing day for the Cowboys. They were in the game, toe to toe, with one of the best teams
in the league, but they fell short, or to be exact, one Billy Cundiff field goal, short of a win.
Abuelito: Si es verdad que Cundiff la cago... pero, Pienso yo que la culpa es mas de el coordinario offensivo
Sean Peyton. Sercas del fin de el juego le dan la pelota a Julius Jones, y sale con una yarda. Otra ves, otra yarda. Lluego un
pase a Terry Glenn donde tiene que escaparse a el defensivo. Terry Glenn pesa cien ochenta completamente mojado! Que pinche
pendejadas! Es verdad que le jugamos un buen juego a uno de los mejores equipos... pero acabar segundo, vale madre! La unica
gracia es que los Gigantes tambien perdieron. El pataleador mistio quatro field goals! Que bueno... Gigantes culeros! (
Yes it's true that Cundiff messed up but I blame the offensive coordinator Sean Peyton. In the last few minutes of the game
he gives the ball to Julius Jones and he gets one yard. Another down, one more yard for Jones! Finally he throws a pass to
Terry Glenn where he is supposed to break a tackle to get a first down. Terry Glenn weighs one hundred eighty pounds soaking
wet. Stupid play calling! It's true that the Cowboys played well against a good team but second place sucks! The
only good thing is that the Giants also lost. Their kicker missed four field goals! Dumb Giants! )
BC: Well... that just about covers all the questions that I had. Besides the game, how was your Thanksgiving,
Abuelito?
Abuelito: Tuve bastante para tomar, para comer y tambien un pedaso de... ( I had plenty to drink , plenty to
eat and I even had a piece of... )
BC: Abuelito! I have to remind you again that this is a family oriented website!
Abuelito: PUMPKIN PIE !!! CALABASA!!! ( Pumpkin pie! Pumpkin head! )
BC: Forgive me Abuelito, I really must stop second guessing you. Will you still bring me a Jerry Jones bobble
head?
BC: SWISH!!! ( The noise I hear as I duck to aviod his palm against the back of my head.)
Cowboys 10 Giants 17
BC: Another sad day in Cowboyland, Abuelito. As my neighbor Squache would say, " Whupped again!". The offensive
line was horrendous! Or were the Giants just that good?
Abuelito: Si, Strahan y el otro, quien sabe como se llama, jagadon mejor que la linea de los Cowboys. Bledsoe
no tuvo tiempo para tirar y los corredores no hayaban orifices. Ahora Jerry Jones sabe donde tiene que gastar su dinero,
el ano que viene. ( Yes, Strahan and the other end, whatever his name is, played better than the Cowboy line. Bledsoe didn't
have time to throw and the running backs couldn't find any holes to run through. Now Jerry Jones knows where he has to
spend the most money next year.)
BC: Do you think the cold weather had much of an effect on the outcome of the game?
Abuelito: Tonterias! Estaba frio en el lado de los Gigantes tambien! ( Poppycock! It was cold on the Giants side
of the field as well! )
BC: Can the Cowboys still win the division or is the best that they can hope for a wild card spot?
Abuelito: Tengo mucho miedo la semana quentra. ( I am afraid of next week. )
BC: The Chiefs? They are good, but outside of Arrowhead Stadium they haven't been very consistant.
Abuelito: No, mendigo, Me toco "jury duty" y no me cai ese jalle. ( No, Mandingo( it actually doesn't mean mandingo-BC
) I was called for jury duty and I don't like that sort of thing.)
BC: Abuelito, it is our civic duty to help keep the judicial system running smoothly. Besides, if you don't show
up you could be fined.
Abuelito: Yo lo se... kimosabe! De buenas que mi abuela estaba en el hospital la ultima ves, porque si no, cien
dolares!!! Y lluego te preguntan si les quieres dar paratras los sies dolares que te pagan para servir. Estan pendejos!
Las pinche taxes y mi tiempo precioso no son bastante? Con sus seis, me compro un seis!
( I know... lone ranger! It's a good thing that my grandmother was in the hospital the last time I was called,
otherwise, one hundred dollars! Then they ask if you want to donate the six dollars that you get for serving back to
them. They're nuts! The taxes that I pay and my precious time aren't enough? I'll take their six dollars and buy me a
six pack! )
BC: So you'll be at the game Sunday, Abuelito? It might be a tad nippy, be sure to dress accordingly.
Abuelito: Una bafanda, un "Lipton cup-a-soup", y mi botellita (he taps his coat pocket, where he seems
to have a flask). Que se venga el pinche norte y los pinche Chiefs! ( A scarf, a Lipton cup-o-soup and my little bottle. Come
on winter and come on Chiefs! )
BC: Thank you, Abuelito... and please don't forget my bobblehead! ( I say as I walk briskly out of the room.)
Cowboys 31 Chiefs 28
BC: Abuelito, how was your trip to Dallas? The Cowboys pulled off a big win against the Chiefs, were you impressed?
How was the weather? Were you able to find a Jerry Jones bobblehead?
Abuelito: Estaba deaquellas...si...estaba fresco...aqui esta tu pinche bobblehead y tambien tu otro regalo. (
It was great, yes, it was cool, here is your bobblehead and another presant.)
BC: A football ! Signed by Bill Parcells and Jerry Jones ! Is it real? How did you get this?
Abuelito: Connectiones! Tengo un camarada que tiene un camarada que tiene un tio que tiene un sobrino que
se esta echando una Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.
( Connections! I have a friend that has a friend that has an uncle that has a nephew that is dating a Dallas
Cowboys Cheerleader. )
BC: Really?
Abuelito: Nombre, estoy jugando, pendejo! Mi nieto se perdio en Texas Stadium y Jerry Jones se dio quenta.
Nos dijo que espradamos en su "luxury box" asta que acabada el juego y despues le dio la pelota a mijo. (
Just kidding, boob! My grandson got lost at Texas Stadium and Jerry Jones found out about it. He told us to wait in his
luxury box until after the game. Then he gave my grandson the football.)
BC: That's great...but...why are you giving it to me?
Abuelito: Le cambie la pelota por una raspa! Como lo ves? Chiquio loco! ( I traded him a snow cone for the football!
How about that? Crazy kid! )
BC: I get the feeling that you planned this, Abuelito!
Abuelito: Es verdad que le dije a mijo que si se perdiera, que llorada como si lo estaba siguiendo la llorona...y
pedir a Jerry Jones! ( It's true that I instructed my grandson that if he got lost, to scream like the crying woman was
after him...and to ask for Jerry Jones!)
BC: That was pretty cruel Abuelito, I hope that you didn't scar him for life.
Abuelito: "Scar him for life?" Le encanto la pinche "luxury box"! Vimos la mitad de el juego com toda la cerveza,
sodas, dulce y comida que queriadamos! ( Scarred for life? He loved the luxury box! We saw half the game with all the beer,
soda water, candy and food that we wanted! )
BC: In that case, thank you for the football. Can the Cowboys get into the playoffs?
Abuelito: Los juegos contra los Eagles y los Chiefs son buen ejemplos de la manera de ganar! Tambien
tienen que usar a Marion Barbar mas! ( The games against the Eagles and the Chiefs are good examples of how to win games.
They also need to use Marion Barber more! )
BC: Can the Cowboys beat the Redskins, Abuelito?
Abuelito: Como chingados que no? Traigan los pinche indios locos! ( Of course! Bring 'um on!!! )
Cowboys 7 Redskins 35
Abuelito: Apaga la luz. Ya se acabo el pinche pode! ( Turn out the lights, the party's over! )
Cowboys 24 Panthers 20
Abuelito: Donde estabas la semana pasada, loco? ( Where were you last week? )
BC: I'm sorry Abuelito, I was a tad distraught over the Cowboys embarrasing loss to the... I can't even say their
name.
Abuelito: Yo si puedo... los PINCHE REDSKINS!!! No te abuetes pendejo, los Cowboys tienen una chansa pequena.
La linea jugo bien contra los Panthers y Julius Jones al fin enseno corazon ( I can... the FREAKING REDSKINS!!!
Don't give up, the Cowboys still have a small chance. The line played well against the Panthers and Julius Jones finally showed
some heart. )
BC: I guess Bill Parcells' warning that this year was a rebuilding year came to fruitation. Perhaps the expectation
of Cowboys' fans was a little premature but with all the talent that they appear to have, how can they be blown out of a game
35 to 7? Could it be that they were overconfident?
Abuelito: No creo yo que tenian mucha confiansa. Los pinche Redskins fuedon demaciado contra los Cowboys
y para decirte la verdad, los cabrones estan jugando como los mejores equipos. ( I don't believe that the Cowboys were overconfident.
The Redskins were too much for the Cowboys and to tell you the truth, the f**kers are amoung the best teams in the
league.)
BC: The Cowboys have had bad seasons before but this season is really hard to take. Those teams weren't expected
to do good because the teams weren't good, this one is. I guess we'll have to wait and see which team shows up to play in
St. Louis.
Abuelito: No te abuetes chingon! No se acaba asta que cante la marana! ( Don't give up. It ain't over til the
fat lady sings! )
Cowboys 10 Rams 20
Abuelito: Ahora si, " Turn out the lights, the party's over!"
BC: Well Abuelito, this season started out with such great promise and ended with the proverbial THUD! Bill Parcells
will return and there is talk of building for the future. But, is that possible with Drew Bledsoe, Keyshawn and Terry Glenn
reaching their twilight, in football years, that is.
Abuelito: La futura es ahora! Bledsoe enseno que valle madre con un poco de pression. Necesitan otro quarterback!
Tambien otro recevidor, pero no Terrell Owens! Y la linea offensiva, como lo digo... NO VALEN NI UNA CHINGADA! ( The
future is now! Bledsoe showed that he can't play under pressure. We need another quarterback! Also another reciever, but not
Terrell Owens! And the offensive line, how can I put this... they stunk up the place! )
BC: Parcells has a penchant for sticking with "his guys". Perhaps a couple of linemen would cure what ails us?
Abuelito: Si, Y yo tengo propiedad en Las Vegas. Estas interesado en un compro? (Yes, and I have some property
for sale in Las Vegas, are you interested?)
BC: Allrighty then... I guess we'll have to circle draft day on our calender. Will you be available to share
with us your expert analysis?
Abuelito: Vale mas que lo creas...estupido! ( You better believe it....Genius! )
Post-Season Abuelito Analysis
BC: Abuelito, do you think that Vince Young will still be the first quarterback taken in the draft?
Auuelito: Ese pendejo! La pinche Wonderlic lo mando a la chingada! Alamejor los Cowboys lo levantan en la pinche
"fourth round"! ( That dummy! The Wonderlic might have messed him up! Maybe the Cowboys can pick him in the fourth round!
)
BC: Would you look for them to take a good receiver with their first pick?
Abuelito: A ver que pasa joven... a ver que pasa. ( We'll have to wait and see what happens.)
Say it ain't so, Jerry! Say it ain't so... not T.O.!
BC: Abuelito, the unthinkable has happened! The Cowboys now have the most selfish, egotistical and
disruptive force in the NFL, and I'm not talking about Terrell Owens. Jerry Jones, haven't you learned that there is no T.O.
in TEAM? OK... I guess what's done, is done. We can only hope that our favorite team doesn't implode like last years
Eagles. It's just that Bill Parcells prefers a ball control offense that relies mainly on the run. Where does that
leave the ball hogging T.O.? Perhaps Jerry has more influence over Parcells than he cares to admit and has plans to turn the 'Boys
vanilla offense into a high powered one! Whats the point of having a big gun if you can't shoot it? Your thoughts?
Abuelito: Con eso, lo dijiste todo. Cuando se pone cabron, los cabrones toman! ( That just about covers
it! When the going gets tough, the tough...drink! )
2006 DALLAS COWBOYS FOOTBALL SEASON
BC: It's finally football
season again Abuelito. The Cowboys may have lost some fans this year with the acquisition of Terrell Owens. At first, I was
a little peeved with the Cowboys organization for taking a chance on the troubled wide receiver, especially since he celebrated
on the star that sits smack dab in the center of Texas Stadium. But is this game about loyalty? Perhaps in the old days, but
these days, it's all about MONEY! Team owners pay atheletes millions of dollars to play a GAME! Now, the NFL is
saying that the only way that we will get to see the Cowboys play the Falcons is if we sign up for the NFL Network! The NFL
must not be making enough money off of television commercials, stadium royalties and merchandising! What a bunch of CACA!
ABUELITO: Calmate mijo! Nunca te a visto asi.
BC: How can people be so greedy? I have Cowboy's caps, t-shirts, have been to a few games (and paid $6.00 for a beer) and sat and watched commercial after commercial during a Cowboys telecast. I'm
sure that millions of people do ten times that! On the day that the Cowboys play the Falcons, every Cowboy fan in
America should go out to the park, the lake or just your backyard, to barbeque and forget about football for one weekend.
The NFL has no problems sticking it to the fans, why not show the NFL that without fans there would be no NFL. Back to loyalty,
the Cowboys organization has shown that loyalty is as foreign as the moon. Jerry Jones showed no loyalty to Emmitt Smith or
to George Teague, the Cowboy that knocked T.O. off of the star, on that infamous day! George Teague should have
been put in the Ring Of Honor at Texas Stadium! The only people that seem to be loyal are the fans! I have been a fan too
long to quit following the 'Boys. How about you, Abuelito?
ABUELITO: Los Cowboys, cervezas bien frias y los camaradas. Que mas quieres? ( The
Cowboys, cold beer and friends. It don't get any better than that!)
Jaguars 24 Cowboys 17
BC: Well Abuelito, after months of anticipation and nothing but golf on television the Cowboys' season started
out with the proverbial splat, what a tremendous letdown! How on earth could a team with this much talent play so miserably?
Abuelito: Mucho gusto a ver lo a usted tambien, joven! No pueden ganar cuando pinche Bledsoe tira tres pinche
interceptiones! Mi camarada Dan Cook me pregunto la misma cosa... ( It's nice to see you again too! The Cowboys can't
win if Bledsoe throws three interceptions! My buddy Dan Cook asked me the same thing...)
BC: Dan Cook? The legendary San Antonio sportscaster? The columnist for the Express News? The man who coined
the phrase " It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings"?
Abuelito: Si, chiquio! Se te abren los ojos como un guerquio en una tienda de dulce! ( Yes, youngster! Your eyes
open up like a kids' in a candy store! )
BC: You can't possibly know Dan Cook. He's older than the moon...
Abuelito: Orale pendejo! Jugabamos futbol en las calles de chiquios. Nuestros padres pistiaban juntos! ( Watch
it, fool! We played football in the streets and our parents drank together! )
BC: I'll give you the benifit of the doubt, but if you don't mind I will reserve judgement for later.
Abuelito: Creas lo que creas pero es lo que es, panfilo! ( Believe what you want to believe, but it is what it
is, nincompoop! ) He says, as he is obviously getting irritated with my disbelief- BC
BC: Alrighty then... back to the Cowboys. A quick recap: First the Cowboys acquire T.O. ,which by the way,
seemed to stand for "Time Off" since he sat out most of the pre-season. Then they take Bobby Carpenter, a linebacker,
( which they have an overabundance of ) in the draft, when they obviously needed an offensive lineman. They also picked
up Mike Vanderjack-ass who has been hurt and like T.O., has missed most of the pre-season. When questioned about his two missed
field goals ( a 33 and a 32 yarder ) in the final preseason game, his reply was " I'll make 'um when they count". Finally,
Parcells gets rid of Drew Henson. Parcells never seemed to like Henson or his inability to be a leader. There were several
quarterbacks still available when the Cowboys first pick in the draft came around! It seems like visions of granduer
have fallen short and the only thing that we can be thankfull for is that Terrell Owens didn't disappoint...yet!
Abuelito: Hay varias escusas. Peo al fin, todos los cabrones tienen que jugar mejor, especialmente pinche Bledsoe! (
There are lots of excuses, but the bottom line is, they all need to play better, especially Drew Bledsoe! )
BC: Up next, our archrival, the Redskins!
Abuelito: Que chinga le vamos a poner. Ya hasta las prevo! ( We'll beat them silly! I can already taste those
cold brewskies! )
COWBOYS 27 REDSKINS 10
BC: HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS! Abuelito, are you O.K.? You look kinda rough.
Abuelito: Pinches juegos de noche! ( Stinking night games! )
BC: You obviously partook of the grape. The Cowboys had an exceptional game. The offense kicked butt, led by
Drew Bledsoe, Terry Glenn, Julius Jones, Anthony Fasano and the inspired play of the offensive line. T.O. and Vanderjagt came
through as promised and I believe that T.O. showed a lot of heart in his performance. He broke his finger at the start of
the game and preceeded to become the highest paid decoy in NFL history.
Abuelito: Si, es verdad. ( Yes, this is true. )
BC: I feel your pain, sensei. Would you like a cold compress?
Abuelito: Pendejo! ( Dumb grasshopper! )
BC: The defense, namely Roy Williams and Terrance Newman shut down Santana Moss and showed that they are
a force to be reconed with!
Abuelito: No se si los Cowboys estan perrones o los Redskins valen madre pero de a cincho que su escusa va ser
que no jugo Clinton Portis. A todos modos los Redskins me la pel... ( I don't know if the Cowboys are great or the Redskins
are sorry but the Redskins will probably use the " We didn't have Clinton Portis" excuse! )
BC: Abuelito! Please try to control your emotions. Perhaps you should try Chanting, as I have. It really has
a calming effect.
Abuelito: Que??? Chanting? Tu deveras estas chisquiado, sonso! ( What? Chanting? You are cookoo! )
BC: The Cowboys have a bye next week, which is good since T. O. is injured. The Texans play the Redskins! Do
you think that they can break their losing streak and stun the Redskins?
Abuelito: Los Texans no tienen ni un pelo en las nalg... ( The Texans don't have a single hair on their as...)
BC: Abuelito! Please try chanting! Huuummm, Huuummm, Hum...SLAP!!!
( Another slap to the side of the head. I should have seen that one coming.)
BC: Another great performance by the Cowboys wouldn't you say, Abuelito?
Abuelito: Si... jugadon bien pero todavia estoy enojado que no mas le dieron cinco juegos a el desgraciado Albert
Haynesworth! Ese cobarde le piso la cabeza a Andre Guorde, y lluego el cullero se salio del juego enojado! Ese cabron no tiene
derecho de jugar futbol professional, deve de estar en la pinta! ( Yes they played well but I am still mad that the NFL only
gave Haynesworth a five game suspension! That coward stepped on Guorde's head and he left the field angry! That thug has
no right to be playing pro ball, he should be in prison!)
BC: ( I think recommending chanting may be out of the question ) It was a malicious and deliberate foul and hopefully
impressionable kids everywhere will see this as an example of what NOT to do.
Abuelito: Pinche Haynesworth! ( Rotten Haynesworth! )
BC: Back to the game, T.O. was the big story of the week with his broken finger and his alleged suicide attempt.
Abuelito: Nadien quiere a T.O. mas que T.O. Ese cabron no se va a matar solo. Una cosa es cierto, le encanta
jugar futbol a T.O. Se quebro la mano, y en dos semanas esta jugando otra ves. Ese vato tiene pellotas de fiero. ( No one
loves T.O. more than T.O. That guy wouldn't kill himself, but one thing is certain, that guy loves to play football. He broke
his hand and two weeks later he was playing again. He has great testicular fortitude! )
BC: I agree, he is rather ballsy to play despite the risk of a defender possibly slapping him on the hand. Roy
Williams did some slapping of his own. He can add a couple of tackles to his "greatest hits" DVD! I believe Vince Young found
out that if you plan to run in the NFL you better have Michael Vick caliber speed.
Abuelito: Acuerdate que le jugadon a los Titans. El testiculo devedas, va ser contra los pinche Aguillas!
Traigan los pajados cagados! ( Remember that they played the Titans before you start thinking Super Bowl. The real (testicle?)
will be against the Eagles. Bring on those dirty birds! )
Eagles 38 Cowboys 24
BC: Another heartbreaker, Abuelito. What did we do to deserve this? I guess we now know what kind of team we
have, and it isn't a Super Bowl team, that's for sure!
Abuelito: Negativo, loco! Au contraire... sabemos que clasia de quarterback tenemos! Es sierto que Drew Bledsoe
tomo muchos chingasos el Domingo, pero, sin presion todavia tiro tres interceptiones. Sus tiradas estaban cortas y bajas!
Cuando el juega mal, los Cowboys pierden! Creo yo que deben de darle chansa a Romo contra los Texans. ( No way dodo bird!
On the contrary... we know what kind of quarterback we have. Bledsoe took a beating but with little or no pressure he managed
to throw three interceptions. His was throwing low and he was throwing short. When he plays bad, the Cowboys lose!
I believe Romo should start against the Texans.)
BC: Abuelito, you've jumped on the Romo bandwagon?
Abuelito: Parcells mismo dijo que los mejores van a jugar. Ahora Bledsoe no es el mejor jugador. ( Parcells says
that the best players will play. Today, Bledsoe may not be the best player. )
BC: The Cowboys had trouble with Jim Johnson's defensive scheme...
Abuelito: Defensive scheme??? Puro pinche blitz!!! El Cowboy coordinario offensivo pendejo no tuvo
idea que las Aguillas jugaban asi o que? Al fin usaron la "shotgun" y "rollouts" pero ya Bledsoe estaba todo chingotiado!
Los Cowboys perdieron por pendejos! ( All they did was blitz! Our offensive coordinator wasn't aware that this team blitzes
or what? The Cowboys finally used the shotgun and rollouts but by then Bledsoe was all beat up! Stupidity cost them the game!)
BC: The defense didn't fare much better...
Abuelito: Como le ganas a quarterbacks como Manning y McNabb? Presion!!! Si no les das tiempo para tirar, esos
culeros valen madre! Asi como Bledsoe. La diferencia es, sin presion, NcNabb quemo a los Cowboys y sin presion Bledsoe la
cago! ( How do you beat a quarterback like Manning or McNabb? Pressure! If they don't have time to throw they aren't
worth a darn! Like what happened to Bledsoe. The difference is, without pressure McNabb torched the Cowboys and without pressure
Bledsoe played like crap! )
BC: The Texans visit Dallas Sunday. They always play the Cowboys tough. Do you think Bledsoe will play better?
Abuelito: De chincho! Pero el hoto tiene que jugar bien en todos los juegos no solo los faciles! ( For
sure, but the fruitcake has to play well in all the games not just the easy ones! )
BC: O.K. Abuelito, I have to run. Dancing with the Stars is coming on and I am anxious to see who will get knocked
off this week.
Abuelito: A LA CHINGADA!!! Yo tambien tengo que ir a wacharlo! ( Holy moly! I have to go watch as well! )
BC: Abuelito, I never imagined that dancing would be your cup of tea! Do you watch because of Emmitt?
Abuelito: Shale, pendejo! Me gustan las bailadoras. La Cheryl Burke esta buena! ( No, dumkoff! I like the
female dancers. Cheryl Burke is good! )
BC: Any predictions as to who will win the dance competition?
Abuelito: Mi Raza, joven! Mi Raza! ( The Hispanic, of course! )
Cowboys 34 Texans 6
He's celebrating on the star again! That's O.K., this time he's a Cowboy!
BC: Abuelito, the 'Boys really put a whuppin' on the Texans!
Abuelito: Si, pero no comiensadon tan deacaeas! Los Texans le pusieron un susto a todos, de primero. ( Yes, but
they didn't start out very well. The Texans put a scare into all of us! )
BC: The defense, except for the Texans first drive, looked like the Doomsday Defense of old!
Abuelito: Aguanta te las comperaciones! Acuerda que le estaban jugando a los Texans! Esos pobres quieren rectificar
la pendejada de el ano pasado. Si no ganan ni un juego, dea chincho que ganan a Adrian Peterson. Alamejor no estan tan
pendejos! ( Refrain from that comparison. They were playing the Texans! They probably want to make up for last years draft
day blunder. If they don't win any games this year they will have the first pick in the draft and they could end up with Adrian
Peterson ( of another defensive lineman )!!! Perhaps they are not as dumb as that little bull on their helmets!
BC: T.O. shown as bright as a Texas day. And he posed on the star again.
Abuelito: Es un payaso bien echo ese cabron, pero si sigue haciendo tushdowns, no cae pedo! ( He is
a showoff but as long as he scores touchdowns it doesn't matter! )
BC: It was a good day for Cowboy fans. The Redskins and the Eagles both lost.
Abuelito: Que bueno que los Saints desmardadon la defensia de el pinche Jim Johnson, ese cabron me cae como una
patada en las pelo... ( I was glad the Saints tore apart Jim Johnson's defense. I like that a-hole like a kick in the nut...)
BC: Abuelito, your language, please! Tony Romo threw his first NFL regular season touchdown!
Abuelito: Pinche Romo! ( Freakin' Romo! )
BC: I'm sorry, I thought you liked Romo?
Abuelito: Si, pero yo tenia el Siete - Sies. Con esa pinche tushdown me costo dos cientos bolos! Romo cara
de tamal seco! ( Sure, but I had the Seven - Six. That touchdown cost me two hundred dollars! Tamale faced Romo! )
BC: The Giants should prove to be a better challenge next Monday night.
Abuelito: Vale mas que lo creas! ( You better believe it! )
Giants 36 Cowboys 22
BC: Well Abuelito, another agonizing defeat at the hands of superior football team. It seems that we can't win
against the good teams in the NFL. It's unfortunate that the road to the Super Bowl doesn't go through Houston! It also seemed
to me that Drew Bledsoe was set up to fail, how in the world do you have an immobile quarterback go under center at their
own one yard line? Did the offensive coordinator even consider that Levar Arrington might be blitzing?
Abuelito: Quien sabe que estaba pensando ese pendejo! Tiene los sesos de un pinche sangcudo! Lo bueno es que
al fin sabemos que necesitamos, otro pinche quarterback! Los que tenemos valen madre! Todos los demas equipos buscan
quarterbacks buenos en la "draft" pero nosotros, niuna chingada, puro scrape! Ya asta Parcells me esta caindo suda! ( Who
knows what that dimwit was thinking, he has the brain of a mosquito! At least we now know what we need, a quarterback! All
the other teams look to the draft for a quarterback but us we get the scraps! Even Parcells' act is starting to get old!
)
BC: You're not giving up on the 'Boys are you Abuelito. You have always been their staunchest supporter. From
the very first kickoff, from the very first glorious touchdown, from their very first...
Abuelito: Calmate loco! Es pura fustratacion en mi parte! Quien mas puedo supportar? Los Texans? Estas pendejo!
( Easy bumkin, it's only frustration on my part. Who else would I support? The Texans? You're loony! )
BC: So do you think that the Cowboys will dismantle the powerful Panther defense? Do you think Marc Columbo will
use Julius Peppers like an old dish rag?
Abuelito: SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!!
BC: I take it, that with your silence ( and slaps to the head ), that that means no?
BC: Are you ready for Halloween, Abuelito? Will you be handing out candy to all the little ghosts and goblins?
Abuelito: Shale, voy ir a un poraso. Me voy a vistir de Don Juan! ( No way, I'm going to a party and I'm dressing
as Don Juan.)
BC: Don Juan, the legendary lover???
Abuelito: Pendejo! Don Juan, mi tio en el lado de mi mama. Ese cabron esta orrible. ( Wrong, Pee Wee! Don
Juan, my uncle on my mothers side of the family. That's one ugly dude! )
BC: That's not a real nice thing to say, Abuelito!
Abuelito: Estoy jugando, Quasimodo! Voy a patrullar las calles con mi linterna para hacer cierto que los
ninos se diviertan con la certeza que ningun pendejo los vaya a lastimar! ( Just kidding, spooky! I will be patroling the
streets with my flashlight to ensure that the children will have a good time and not worry about some idiot harming
them! )
BC: Now that's a real nice thing to say, Abuelito! ( That's the stuff that heroes are made of !!! Godspeed Abuelito!
)
Dallas 35 Carolina 14
BC: HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!! It's amazing what a weeks worth of practice will do for a capable quarterback.
Cowboy fans can once again rejoice!
Abuelito? Abuelito? SNAP! SNAP! ( I snap my fingers in front of my seemingly dazed compadres' face.)
Abuelito: Pinche juegos de noche! ( Stinking night games! )
BC: The Cowboys played well on both sides of the ball. Tony Romo was outstanding, Jason Witten showed his pro
bowl form and Julius Jones and Marion Barber are as good a running combination as any in the league.
Abuelito: Si. (Yes. )
BC: Well said, Abuelito. Bill Parcells was in a loving mood after this win. He was kissing everyone in sight!
Abuelito: Pinche hoto. ( Funny guy.)
BC: I don't think there is anything wrong with a coach showing a little emotion, his players should see him as
a compassionate man. I was concerned that Marion Barber should have shown a little more compassion and run out the clock instead
of scoring with seconds left on the clock.
Abuelito: Quieres ver besos y juegos pacificos? En el boxeo, si no te defendes asta que suene la campana, te
van a noquear a la chingada! Creo yo que todo no es como se mira! ( You want to see kisses and you don't want to see aggressive
play? In boxing if you don't defend yourself until the bell rings you will get yourself knocked out! I don't think everything
is as it seems! )
BC: Abuelito, I assure you that I have had more than one girlfriend!
Abuelito: Si le isquierda y la derecha! ( Sure, the left hand and the right hand! )
BC: I am hurt by your mean accusation.
Abuelito: Entonces amarrate los huevos y digame que te bese las nalgas! ( In that case, show some nuts and tell
me to kiss your ass! )
BC: Alrighty then! Up next the PINCHE REDSKINS!!!
Abuelito: Sabes que, olvidate lo que te dije y deja los "pinches" para mi. Estaba jugando de tu sextualidad
joven. Tu eres buena jente, no culero como yo! ( On second thought, forget what I told you, and leave the "pinches" to me.
I was only having a little fun with you. You are a good man, not an a-hole like me! )
BC: Apology accepted! Will the Cowboys beat the Redskins?
Abuelito: Facil! ( Easily! )
Redskins 22 Cowboys 19
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys lost on a last second or should I say, a no second, field goal! What an unbelievable
turn of events. The real killer was the fifteen yard facemask penalty. In my opinion, that facemask penalty was more the five
yard variety. A five yarder would have put the Redskins out of field goal range.
Abuelito: Pinche referees cabrones! Tu sabes que estas en pinche Washington cuando pasa ese pedo! La mejor pregunta
es, porque estabamos en esa posision? Pudas penaltias y mal jugamentos! Los Cowboys necesitan que le prendan una lumbre debajo
de las nalgas, pero al fin parace que Parcells a perdido sus huevos! ( Rotten referrees! You know you are in Washington when
things like that happen! The better question is, why were we in that position to begin with? Penalties and bad play!
The Cowboys need a fire lit under their ass, but, it seems that Parcell has lost his eggs! )
BC: Is there still time to right this ship?
Abuelito: Si, pero Parcell tiene que serse perro gravo! ( yes, but Pracells has to become a mad dog! )
BC: The Cowboys have been playing great, and they have been playing not good enough, What team will show up for
the Arizona game?
Abuelito: Historia dice que van a jugar bien, pero la problema es atituda, pura pinche atituda! Solo Parcells
puede componer esta gran problema. Necesito una fria...estas pendejadas me dan ganas de tomar! ( History says that the Cowboys
will play well but the real problem is attiude and this is a problem that only Bill Parcells can fix. I need a cold one...this
stupidity is making me thirsty! )
Cowboys 27 Cardinals 10
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BC: Hello Abuelito, the Cowboys played well again. How much of a feat was it to beat an Arizona Cardinals that
seems pretty much discombobulated?
Abuelito: Dis...comolachingada??? Estas loco o comites conejo? Habla como la gente loco! Los Cardinales no fueron
buen testiculo pero la semana que biene, AY CARAMBA! Los pinche Colts! ( Dis...com what? Are you crazy or did you eat some
rabbit? Speak english knave! The Cardinals were not a good test but next week, AY CARAMBA!, the Colts! )
BC: If the Cowboys follow the trend they have established this year, they will lose to the Colts. Is there anything
that Bill Parcells and the Cowboys can do to change their destiny and trounce the mighty Colts?
Abuelito: Si, pueden dicir dies mil Hail Marys y contributar cien milliones a la igleslia! Afuera de eso no tienen
ni un resamiento! SLAP! ( Another slap to the back of the head, although this one seemed kind of lame. Perhaps the alcohol
has usurped his otherwise formidable strength! )
CHALE LOCO!!! Tu destenia es lo que lo haces! Si se sacan la cabeza del culay, seguro que tienen chansa! ( Yes,
they can say ten thousand Hail Marys and donate One hundred million dollars to the church! SLAP!!! Just kidding! Your destiny
is what you make it! If they can get their heads out of their butts they might have a chance. )
BC: So do you think that the Cowboys will shock the world?
Abuelito: No te lleves, loco! Pero si iba apuestar, y si voy, mi feria esta con los Cowboys! Si no tienes
fe no tienes nada! Vamos a la tienda para comprar un sies y despues para ser unos puestos. Tienes dinero? ( Don't be silly!
But, If I was to bet, and I am, my money would be on the Cowboys! If you don't have faith, you don't have anything! Lets go
to the store to buy a six pack and then to place a few bets. Do you have any money?)
COWBOYS 21
COLTS 17
BC: Abuelito! What a tremendous win for the Cowboys! They shocked the world, or at least, the football world!
The Cowboys have to be considered Super Bowl contenders now, don't you think?
Abuelito: Calmate chico! Es cierto que jugadon bien los Cowboys, menos el desgraciado Vanderjac, ese cabron valle
madre, pero tu sabes que un juego no hace una temporada de football! ( Calm down sonny! It's true that the Cowboys played
great, except for that unlucky dog Vanderjac, but you know as well as I do that one game does not a season make! )
BC: But the remaining six games are to teams with a combined record of 27- 32 plus four of them are
at home!
Abuelito: Todavia no has apprendido? Ningun juego es facil! Los Gigantes en Nueva York es un juego que puedemos
perder facilmente. Y los Santos Y los Falcones tambien tienen gran pelotas! ( You still haven't learned? There are no
easy games! The Giants IN New York is one game that we could easily lose and the Saints and the Falcons both have a big football
followings! )
BC: Tony Romo seems to be the real deal. Parcells must have seen some promise in Romo, to keep him, instead
of the overpaid Drew Henson after all these seasons. Does this mean that Parcells still has what it takes to coach in the
NFL?
Abuelito: Obviousamente, los Cowboys jugadon bien por una rason o otra Y el juego contra los Colts apesta a puro
Parcells de viejo. ( Obviously the Cowboys played well for one reason or another and the Colts game smelled of the Parcells
of old! )
BC: Abuelito, will you celebrate Thanksgiving using the three F's, family, food and football?
Abuelito: Si las tres efes y la ve! ( yes the three f's and the "V". )
BC: The " V ", Abuelito?
Abuelito: Vironga! HA! HA! ( Beer! HA! HA! )
Abuelito: Dale un examen a la palabra Thanksgiving. THANKS, tenemos que dar gracia seguro, pero GIVING creo yo,
es mas importante. Si le das a los que no tienen, te viene paratras mucho satisfacho. Yo le voy llevar Guajolote a los viejitos
que viven en la esquina. Ellos no tienen familia ni modo de celebrar. ( Look at the word, THANKSGIVING. THANKS, of course,
we must be thankful. Now look at the word GIVING, I believe this half of the word is most important. Giving to those that
don't have, will bring you much satisfaction and perhaps that would start a trend. Wouldn't that be the greatest thing on
earth? I will be taking some turkey to the old folks that live at the corner. They don't have family or the means to
celebrate. )
BC: "Viejitos", wouldn't you fall under that catagory, Abuelito?
Abuelito: Orale pendejo! No me hagas que te pataleye las nalgas... otra ves! Comoquieras, el pinche nenito Emiril no
tiene ni una chingada en mi! Me la pela! ( Watch it looney tune! Don't make me kick your ass...again. Besides that small
fry Emiril Lagasse doesn't have anything on me! He can peel my potatos! )
BC: O...K... with that said, HAPPY (and safe ) THANKSGIVING Y'ALL !!!
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Dallas 38 Tampa Bay 10
BC: HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!! A...BUE...LI...TOOOOO!!!!
Abuelito: Andas pedo cabron? ( Are you drunk dummy? )
BC: Drunk? Who me? Of course not. The exuberance from the Cowboy's Thanksgiving Day fandango is
still transcending it's bounds!
Abuelito: Estas seguro que no te chingates un loco? ( Are you sure you didn't smoke some reef? )
BC: No sir. I don't partake in anything that will alter my already euphoric state of mind. Although,
in college, I did experiment, but I didn't inhale!
Abuelito: Desgraciado! El santito fumo grifa? ( Son of a gun! The little saint smoked weed! )
BC: Oh no! I took a puff from a friends cigarette. It made me cough uncontrollably!
Abuelito: Pendejo! ( Jackass! )
BC: Do you think the Cowboys are ready to take the next step? That is, Super Bowl contenders?
Abuelito: Por supuesto. Y ahora que corriedon al cabron de Vanderjagt con mas ganas! ( Of course,
especially with Vanderjagt gone. )
BC: I'll bet Parcells saw this team as a legitimate contender and if a close game against a tough
opponent were to come down to a field goal, Vanderjagt simply could not be trusted to put it through the uprights.
Abuelito:Exactamente! El testiculo nuevo va ser si Martin Gramatica todavia es Automatica! ( Exactly!
The new testicle (this is taken verbatem-BC), is to see if Martin Gramatica is still Automatica! )
BC: Abuelito, you often use words that do not seem to be in the right context.
Abuelito: Tapado! Yo tome cuatro anos de Espanol en la escuela grande! ( Constipated one! I took
four years of spanish in high school! )
BC: Four years? And your "espanol" is still this rough?
Abuelito: Dije que lo tome, no que lo pase, Senor Einstien! ( I told you that I took it, in high
school, I never said that I passed it, Einstien! )
BC: Oh...alright. The G-men are up next, are they still a formidable opponent? Considering all the
trouble they are having.
Abuelito: Un animal herido es el mas peligroso. Y esos chapetes estan heridos!
( The most dangerous animal is one that is wounded and those Yorkers are wounded, bigtime! )
BC: Any predictions?
Abuelito: Si, Abuelito Nostradamus dice... que en mi futuro...esta otra cervesa fresca. Quieres
un frajo? ( Yes, Abuelito Nostradamus says... that in his future, he sees another cold brewskie. Would you like a cigarette?)
Cowboys 23 Giants20
BC: YIPPE-KA-YAY!!! ABUELITO!!! The Cowboys seem to have cured
what ailed them. That is, they now have a good quarterback and a good kicker!
Abuelito: Si, Gramatica la puso en mero medio y Romo puso el pase
de Whitten perfectamente! ( Yes, Gramatica kicked the ball down the middle and Romo threw a perfect pass to Whitten!)
BC: The Giants showed up to play and the Cowboys were still triumphant. I think that speaks
volumes for the progress made by the 'boys. Some teams don't find their niche until the middle of the season. The San Marcos
Rattlers for example, went into the playoffs with a 5-5 record and now they are on the verge of going farther into the playoffs
than any Rattler team since 1964!
Abuelito: Cuando un equipo juega como de uno, las posibilidades son infinitas. Otro ejemplo
son los Osos. Rex Grossman juega orriblemente y todavia ganan los desgraciados! Creo yo que si no hacen cambio los Osos, se
les acaba el pode. ( When a team plays as one the possibilities are endless. Another example is the Bears. Rex Grossman plays
terribly and they still manage to win! I believe that if the Bears don't make a change at QB, their season will be over
quickly.)
BC: Will you be there to show support for our alma mater?
Abuelito: Venden cervesa? ( Do they sell beer?)
BC: Of course not, this is a High School game, Abuelito.
Abuelito: Sacrelijio! Football??? Sin cervesa??? Es como Postostes sin leche! Pero sabes
que? Vamos! ( Sacriledge! Football??? Without beer??? That's like eating Post Toasties without milk! But on second thought,
let's go! )
BC: Great! A soda, popcorn, some nachos and a pickle, does it get
any better than that, Abuelito? Hopefully, we can find seats close to the band so that we can really FEEL THE SPIRIT!!!
Abuelito: SLAP!!! Calmate! Sientes mi espirito? ( Calm down, do you feel my spirit?)
BC: ( Ow! The Cowboys are not the only ones in resurgance, I think Abuelito is getting his
strength back. ) Abuelito the Saints are coming to town Sunday Night. Will this be an old fashioned shootout?
Abuelito: Seguro! Otro juego de noche! Ya hasta las prevo! ( Of course! Another night
game, I can already taste it! )
Saints 44 Cowboys 17
BC: WHO DAT?... GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS?!!! Not the Cowboys, that's for sure! Is there another NFL
coach that knows these Cowboys as well as Sean Peyton? No! Bill Parcells, knowing this, didn't know enough to know that
Sean Peyton knows everything that the Cowboys know! Do you know what I mean, Abuelito?
Abuelito: Como??? ( Huh???)
BC: If any coach has the inside track on how to beat the Cowboys it is Sean Peyton! He absolutely
out coached Bill Parcells. Having coached the Cowboys for three seasons, he knows all the Cowboys' tendencies. So why didn't
Parcells counter by anticipating this and change his game plan?
Abuelito: Porque no pudo! Un equipo es lo que es! Los Cowboys simplemente tuvieron que jugar mejor
pero no pudiedon! ( Because they couldn't! A team is what it is, and the Cowboys simply had to play better and they weren't
able to! )
BC: To make matters worse , the Saints didn't even have all their starters! For the Big Shootout
the Cowboys forgot to bring some bullets!
Abuelito: Que lastima! Pero que gran dia para los Santos! No les pueden quitar nada a esos vatos.
Estan deservidos de su basta en el sol. Jugadon bien...pinche cabrones! ( How sad! But it was a great day for the Saints!
You can't take anything away from these guys. they dersrve their day in the sun. They played great...those f**kers!!! )
BC: The Saints found a chink in Tony Romo's armour. Will the rest of the NFL watch this film and
be able to replicate this same type of pressure and containment?
Abuelito: Es no mas de ajustar unas cosas y jugar con corazon. Estos cabrones jugadon como el pinche
"tin man"... mada de corazon! ( A few adjustments and a lot of heart will fix their problems. These idiots played like a team
of Tin Men... no heart! )
BC: Up next, Atlanta and Michael Vick! Should we expect another shootout?
Abuelito: Que se vaya a la chingada la pinche NFL Network! Yo voy a ver los SPURS! ( To hell
with the NFL Network! I'm watching the SPURS! )
Cowboys 38 Falcons 28
BC: Abuelito, how was the Spurs game? You missed a great game in Atlanta!
Abuelito: No lo mistie loco! Soy Cowboy fanatico, no NFL Network fanatico! Claudio lo tuvo en su
barra! ( I didn't miss it stup! I am a Cowboy fan, not an NFL Network fan! Claudius had it at his bar! )
BC: So you witnessed the Terrell Owens spitting incident?
Abuelito: Seguro! Yo no lo culpo! Si un chapete estaba gritando en mi cara, queriendo a intimidarme, yo
tambien le tiraba un pollo en su frente, o dependiendo en que pendejadas me estaba diciendo, un chingaso! ( Of course! I don't
blame him! If some fool was screaming right in my face, I too, would loogie his nogin, and depending on what he was yelling,
I might punch him out! )
BC: Tony Romo and Marion Barber had outstanding games! Barber with his punishing runs and Romo with
his cool under pressure.
Abuelito: Estaban pesados los pelados! Romo asta hiso la Pro Bowl! Que loco, no? ( They
were great! Romo even made the Pro Bowl! How crazy is that? )
BC: That is a testament to his play and his quarterback rating which is second behind Peyton Manning.
The Eagles are next, they will they be a resurgant adversary with the improved play of Jeff Garcia.
Abuelito: Si! Que lastima que es rasa. Pero a todos modos, enamigo! ( Yes!, Too bad, because he
is hispanic. But still he is the enemy!
BC: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, ABUELITO! AND TO EVERYONE THAT READS THIS COLUMN!!! (
As well as to those of you that believe in, whatever you believe in! )
Eagles 23 Cowboys 7
BC: We're back to square one again Abuelito. The Cowboys must have been naughty 'cause Santa didn't
come through with a win for them!
Abuelito: Pinche Cowboys...y pinche Santa tambien! ( Stinkin' Cowboys... and Santa as well! )
BC: Jeff Garcia really put on a clinic on how to run the West Coast Offense and Jim Johnson's defense
didn't allow Romo to ever really get anything started.
Abuelito: Si, pero la raza que se los chingo a los dos, fue mi hermosa, Vida Guerra! ( Yes, but
the hispanic that blew them both away, was the lovely, Vida Guerra! )
BC: That's the Cuban born pinup girl in that men's magazine, FHM, correct?
Abuelito: Si, es cierto que es magazine para los hombres pero no ensenian las rookas en nuda! (
Yes it's true that FHM is a men's magazine but they don't show any of the women naked! )
BC: Abuelito, that senorita is young enough to be your daughter!
Abuelito: Pendejo! Hasta pudiera ser hija tuya! No le estoy pidiendo cita, y estoy viejo no muerto!
Esos fotos no ensenan mas que lo que puede ver uno en el parque Sewell, en Texas State! No que conosco ese lugar... pero no
hay mal en mirar... no mas que las miradas no resulten en pendejadas! ( Stupid! She could be YOUR daughter! I am not asking
her out on a date... and I am old, not dead! Those pictures don't show show any more than what you might see at Sewell Park,
in the middle of summer, at Texas State...not that I know of such a place...There is no harm in looking, unless looking, makes
you do something stupid! )
BC: Well... I guess you have a point, and that cover is kind of nice. But what in the world does
that cover have to do with football, and especially the Cowboys?
Abuelito: Esa senorita bellisima, fue discubrida en un banco. Tuvo fotos de calendario y lluego
hiso un mono. Y ahora tiene un CD de musica americana! Garcia, Romo y ahora Vida Guerra son buen ejemplos para la raza. Hay
esperanza para la raza... con un poco de suerte, por supuesto. ( This lovely young woman was discovered as a loan officer
in a bank. She posed for a calendar and then made a movie. Now she has a CD coming out in the new year! Garcia, Romo and now
Vida Guerra are good examples for hispanics everywhere. There is hope for hispanics... with a little bit of luck,
of course! )
BC: POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!! And to think, that I thought, that you were just ogling this
talented young lady!
Abuelito: SLAPPPP!!! Despierta loco! Tambien esta buenisima! ( Slap on the head! Wake up fool! She's
also pretty nice! )
BC: ( Parcells needs to give his team one of Abuelito's patented head slaps! )
Lions 39 Cowboys 31
BC: Holy Frijoles, Abuelito! We lost to one of the worst teams in the league! This doesn't
bode well for the Cowboy's chances in the playoffs. Although... the Seahawks may be the only team in the playoffs that the
Cowboys actually have a chance of defeating. No way could they go to Philadelphia and win over there!
Abuelito: Que esta pasando aqui? Donde esta tu confianca? ( What's happening here? Where is your
confidence? )
BC: My confidence in the Cowboys of the last few weeks, has dwindled to nil. I am pretty sure that
the Lions would prefer to have Adrian Peterson in the backfield instead of Avieon Cason and Troy Smith at quarterback instead
if Jon Kitna.
Abuelito: Tienes punto? ( Do you have a point here? )
BC: My point is, Detroit had nothing to gain by winning and everything to gain by losing.
Abuelito: Orgullo! Algo que los Cowboys no deben de tener ahorita! ( Pride! Something that
the Cowboys don't seem to have right now! )
BC: So you're saying that if Jerry Jones didn't have as much pride, he might have admitted he made
a mistake in signing T.O. and Bill Parcells might have started Tony Romo over Drew Bledsoe sooner?
Abuelito: Eso si, pero, los Liones quicieron ganar mas que los Cowboys el Domingo. Fue redemption
para un ano de preder. Y los Cowboys? Les falta orgullo y corazon. Necesitan un lider como Troy Aikman o Emmitt Smith o Michael
Irvin! ( That is true, but, the Lions wanted to win more than the Cowboys did, on Sunday! This was redemption for a losing
season. The Cowboys lack pride and heart! They need a leader like Aikman, Emmitt or Irvin!
BC: This matchup Saturday night opt to be... dare I say it...the battle of the two worst teams in
the playoffs! If the Cowboys pull out a win, is there a chance that they can beat the Bears in Chicago?
Abuelito: No mires mucho a la futura, pero, los Osos pueden ser el peor mejor equipo de el ano!
( Don't look that far into the future, but the Bears just might be the worst best team in the playoffs! )
BC: So come Saturday night, Abuelito, will you be "READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL"?
Abuelito: Si. pero ahorita... tengo sed! ( Yes, but right now... I am thirsty! )
Seattle 21 Cowboys 20
Abuelito: Apaga la luz, se acavo el pinche pode!!! ( Turn out the lights... the party's
over! )
BC: Well Abuelito, football season is over for us Cowboy fans. Will
you be watching any of the playoffs and is there any team in particular that you will be pulling for?
Abuelito: Si, los Santos de San Anto. ( Yes, the San Antonio
Saints. )
BC: The San Antonio Saints? Wouldn't it be an odd twist of fate to have the Saints and the Chargers
in the Super Bowl?
Abuelito: Si. El cambio de quarterbacks les fue bien a los dos equipos. Pero los Gigantes pendejos
chotiadon. Fueran agarrado a Phillip Rivers en ves de Eli Manning! ( Yes. The trading of quarterbacks turned out
well for both teams except for the dumb Giants, they should have kept Phillip Rivers instead of taking Eli Manning! )
BC: For sure! This season anything is possible, I too will pull for the Saints! O.K. Abuelito,
thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions with us for another season, do you have any parting comments, thoughts or
words of wisdom?
Abuelito: Si, anda que te chequeien el chiquito! ( Yes, have them check your butt! )
BC: I beg your pardon?
Abuelito: Un doctor... que te den un examinacion! ( A doctor... for an examination! )
BC: A colonoscopy? Actually, I just had a... as I affectionately call it...a... scopeupmyasscopy.
After the age of thirty it's a good idea to get one every ten years. Thank you for your concern though, Abuelito.
Abuelito: De nada...que te vaya bien, que te vaya mal, que te pique un alacran! Hay
te wacho en el verano...Hastaloshuevos loco! ( No problem...take care... see you in the summer, wild man! )
Tony Romo - a diamond in the rough?
2007 DALLAS COWBOYS KICKOFF
SPECTACULAR
Alamodome - San Antonio, Texas 7-24-07
BC: Abuelito, what did you think of the Dallas Cowboys Spectacular Kickoff?
Abuelito: Que gran spectaculo! Los Lonely Boys estaban padre, las cheerleaders estaban calientes
y las cervesas ebtaban frias! O... si... y caras! ( What a spectacle! The Lonely Boys were cool, the cheerleaders
were hot and the beer was cold! Yeah...and expensive too! )
Cowboy Camp '07
Alamodome 7-28-07
(above) Coach Garrett says, "Go deep to T.O."!
(above) Romo launching a perfect strike...
(above) ...to T.O.!!! Who makes a beautiful one handed catch!
(above) The crowd goes wild, chanting..T.O.!!! T.O.!!! T.O.!!!
(above) All is good in Cowboyland!
Dallas Cowboys Preseason
BC: Here we again Cowboys fans on the cust of another NFL football season. After a wildly successful
training camp in San Antonio the expectations for the 'Boys are off the charts! Last years team coupled with some key additions
should greatly improve their chances of making it to the big dance. With a new coach Wade Phillips, new offensive coordinator
Jason Garrett and a new defensive coordinator it seems that the Cowboys will be starting over. But frankly, this isn't
Wade Phillips' first rodeo. The defensive specialist and son of former Houston Oiler coach Bum "next year we'll kick the door
in" Phillips, should bring a breath of fresh air to the team, compared to the tired coaching style of Bill Parcells. But
the jury is still out on that one. Jason Garrett on the other hand, has been to the rodeo but he ain't never rode no horse!
Only time will tell if the Princeton alum learned anything from Norv Turner, Troy Aikman and Jimmy Johnson. Reports from training
camp point to a very relaxed atmosphere in Cowboyland, prompting reporters to dub the camp, "Camp Cupcake". Lets hope they're not too relaxed!
As always, we anxiously await Abuelito's peerless prognostications! Who better to dissect the
inner workings of the Cowboys than he? The man who makes Nostradamus look like a carnival fortune teller, Socrates... look
like one of the kids from "Are You Smater Than A Fifth Grader " and J LO...seem like a University Of Texas spanish
major! Abuelito, what are your thoughts on the upcoming season?
Abuelito: Creo que todo esta bien con los Cowboys, creo que Tony Romo va jugar como demonio y
creo que la cervesa y los nachos en el pinche Alamodome estaban muy caros! ( I believe all is good with the Cowboys, Tony
Romo will play like a Pro Bowler and I believe that the beer and nachos were way to expensive at the Alamodome!)
BC: But... Abuelito, I paid for your beer and nachos at the 'Dome!
Abuelito: Si... gracias, pero tome chingos y no fue mi intencion a cuebrarte! ( Yes... thanks,
but I drank a lot and it wasn't my intention to break you! )
BC: No problem, it was my pleasure. A small price to pay for a seasons worth of insight.
Cowboys 23 World Champs 10
DALLAS 45 Giants 35
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys' season has started and the offense looks impressive. Romo and the Cowboys
have the best offense in the NFC. T.O. is making impressive catches, Julius Jones and Marion Barber are as
good a tandum as there are in the league and Jason Witten is in Pro Bowl form. But What is going on with the defense?
Abuelito: Como estas joven? El tiempo sin football es triste...pudo pinche golf! Que bueno que comienso
el football! Wade Phillips debe de ser un "guru" de la defencia. Yo tampoco no lo comprendo! Pienso yo que en tiempo, la defencia
va jugar bien. ( How are you son? The offseason is a sad time! Nothing but golf! I am glad that football season has started!
Wade is supposed to be a defensive guru. I don't understand, but I feel that the defense will, in time, come together.)
BC: The 'Boys put the hurt to Peytons' little brother.
Abuelito: Si, apprendio una lesson...no chingen con los Cowboys! ( Yes, he learned a lesson, you don't mess
with the Cowboys!)
BC: The Cowboys were able to outscore the Giants.
Abuelito: Este ano los Cowboys tienen jugadores pero pesados! ( This year the Cowboys have some great
players.)
BC: Lets hope that they can continue to play impressively. I for one think that the 'Boys have a chance
to make the Super...
Abuelito: NO LES ECHES LA SAL, LOCO!!! No digas las palabras esas! ( Don't give the Cowboys bad luck!!!
Don't say those words! )
BC: Abuelito, you aren't supersticious are you?
Abuelito: Ni modo! No nesecitan la sal! ( Of course! They don't need you pushing their luck! )
BC: Will luck be necessary against the Dolphins?
Abuelito: Seguro yo prefiero ser lechoso que bueno! ( Of course! I would rather be lucky than good! )
Cowboys 37 Maimi 20
Technical Difficulties prevented the Miami game discussion from being on time...sorry all!
BC: The Cowboys seem to be on a roll Abuelito! They start off slow, in the first half, but come
on strong in the second half. The stars are all playing up to their potential. What do you think of the "Boys so far?
Abuelito: Si es verdad que comiensan despacio, pero lo importante es que ganen el pinche
juego! (Yes, it's true that they start slow but the important thing is the outcome.)
BC: Romo comtinues to impress...
Abuelito: Viva la raza! Va ser bueno este pelado! (Heck yea! This guy is good!)
BC: Was Miami a good measuring stick? That is...a measure of the teams progress?
Abuelito: No... los OSOS! Esos cabrones nos dicen si vamos a compitir! Que se vengan los pinche
osos! (NO...the Bears! That team will judge whether we can compete with the big boys! Bring 'em on!)
BC: Can the Cowboys beat the Bears?
Abuelito: Si...esos cabrones no pueden hacer puntos. Si puedemos hacer puntos nosotros ...entonces
ganamos! ( Yes ...they can't score points. If we can score on their defense, we will win! )
Cowboys 34 Bears 10
BC: What a game, Abuelito! The Cowboys have showed the NFL that they are a force to be reckoned with.
Abuelito: Que juego...Los Cowboys estaban ...en fuego! Otra ves, comienzadon despascio, pero en la segunda
mitad, les puciedon una chinga a los Osos! (What a game...The 'Boys were on fire! They started out slow again, but they whupped
the Bears completely in the second half!)
BC: The Cowboys have earned respect by defeating the mighty Bears! But did they really beat one of
the leagues' premier teams? The Bears and Rex Grossman aren't exactly the caliber offense that astounds the Vegas oddsmakers.
In three weeks the Patriots come to town...That will be the ultimate test!
Abuelito: Es verdad que los Osos no tienen offensia, pero la defensia es una de las mejor
en la leagua. Es cierto que no tenian todos sus mejor jugadores, pero a todos modos son los Osos, y hay rason para celebrar! Como
el durante y despues del juego...puro pinche pode! ( It's true that the Bears have no offense but their defense
is one of the best in the league. It's true that they were missing some key players but they are still the Bears and that
is reason for celebration! Like during and after the game...what a party!)
BC: I take it you, overindulged, Abuelito?
Abuelito: Cuando despiertas afuera...(When you wake up outside...)
BC: You woke up outside?
Abuelito: Si ...con una vironga en una mano y el remoto en la otra mano... (Yes,
with a beer in one hand and my control in the other...)
BC: Abuelito!
Abuelito: El remoto de la television... loco! (The TV remote! )
BC: Oh ...sorry. The Rams are next. Will the 'Boys be overconfident?
Abuelito: Vale mas que no, San Luis todavia tiene un buen partido. ( They better not, St. Louis still has
a good team.)
BC: A prognostication?
Abuelito: Si los Cowboys con dies y siete y que no despierto afuera otra ves! ( Yes , the Cowboys by seventeen
and I won't be waking up outside again! )
Cowboys 35 Rams7
BC: Wow, Abuelito! Another drubbing at the hands of Tony Romo and company! The 'Boys completely manhandled
the Rams on Sunday! After another slow start, the Cowboys were able to score at will against a much miligned Rams team. With
a decimated front line, a hurt star running back and a quarterback with cracked ribs, the Rams never really had a chance.
The game was unsettelingly close right before the half. Then the Tony Romo show began... with 2 minutes before the half, Romo
saw the snap from center sail over his head and bounce 33 yards to their own 17 yard line. You would think...fall on the dang
ball! Not this Cowboy! Romo scooped up the ball and ran it back upfield for a 60 yard net play, 4 yard gain and
a first down! Holy Guacamole! Then Romo proceeded to methodically move the team down to the 17 yard line with 16 seconds to
go. With Terrell Owens streaking across the field and defenders chasing, a hole bigger'n Dallas opened up smack dab in the
middle of the field. Shades of Staubach! Holy Frijoles! Romo runs it in! Touchdown Dallas! Abuelito, YOU could have run it
in from there!
Abuelito: Orale, Pendejo! PINCHE ROMO CABRON! ( Watch it doof! DARN ROMO!)
BC: Excuse me???
Abuelito: Romo hoto...no se pudo esperar para ser sus pinche puntos en la media sugunda! (Nutty Romo! Couldn't
he wait until the second half to score his points?)
BC: Numbers?
Abuelito: SI!!! Tenia el pinche 7-7! Romo me robo! Hoto! Cien bolos! ( YES!!! I had the seven- seven...that
fruit robbed me of a hundred bucks!)
BC: C'mon Abuelito...surely that series was worth more than a hundred dollars to you!
Abuelito: HUMMPH! ( HUMMPH! )
BC: The beauty of seeing the Cowboys finally handing the reins to an able quarterback, after years of frustration,
is worth much more than a measly hundred dollars! Don't you think?
Abuelito: Bueno...yo creo...ok...si...estas correcto joven. Ahora hay promesa en Dallas y Romo
es la causa. Pero los cabrones no pueden jugar asi contra los Patriatistas. Te apeusto cien dolares que esos cabrones mo se
esperan para ser puntos! Con Brady y Moss esos locos son el unico equipo que me dan miedo. ( Yes...i believe...ok...you
are correct sonny. Now there is promise in Big D, and Romo is the reason. But they cannot play like this against the
Patriots. I'll bet you a hundred dollars they won't wait until the second quarter to score points. With Brady and Moss, this
team really scares me.)
BC: Yes, it's true that the Patriots are a great football team, but Dallas has it's own share of weapons. That
will be the real test for this Cowboy team and perhaps a preview of the Super Bo....
Abuelito: Callate!!! LA SAL, LOCO... LA SAL! (Hush! Don't jinx them! )
BC: OOPS! Sorry Abuelito, I forgot! Buffalo is next...your prediction?
Abuelito: Tira los pinche Beefalo Bills en la pinche parilla...y en tres horas, metele el trinche! Hechos!
( Throw Beefalo on the pit, and in three hours, stick a fork in 'em ...they're done!)
Cowboys 25 Bills 24
BC: WOW! What a miraculous turn of events! Six turnovers and some less than stellar play from Tony Romo
and we still win! To be fair, Romo was able to get it together when he needed to and kicker Nick Folk proved to be the
answer at his position.
Abuelito: Si, Folk esta cabron! Dos field goals para ganar el juego. Culeros Bills... pidiedon tiempo antes
de la primer pataleada! No lease...Folk las iso las dos! Que bueno! ( Yes, Folk is BAD! He kicked two field goals to win the
game! Cool arrows Bills... called timeout to try to ice the kicker but no dice... Folk made them BOTH! )
BC: It was an incredible win, but it also raised some serious questions. Will Romo be able to rebound from
a mistake riddled game? Will T.O. be able to hold on to the ball? The Patriots are one of the best teams in the league and
Bill Belichick's defense is known for their ability to confound quarterbacks. T.O. said to "have your popcorn ready"...the
order of the day is to play mistake free football, not to give Brady and company any fuel for their high octane offense!
Abuelito: Pinche T.O. debe de jugar mejor, pero, no mas que coma pacon con mantequilla antes del pinche
juego! ( T.O. should play better...as long as HE doesn't eat buttered popcorn before the game!)
BC: HA HA...good one Abuelito! Do you have YOUR popcorn ready for the "game of the year"?
Abuelito: Valemas que lo creas...y unas virongitas bien frias! ( You better believe it...and some cold beer
as well! )
BC: So do you think that the 'Boys can beat the seemingly invincible Patriots?
Abuelito: Gamar si pueden...pero no mas que no pierdan bien gacho y que aprendan para la siguiente mirada!
( They CAN win... but if they lose, i hope that they will not lose badly and that they can take from a loss, some good experience
for the next time that they meet! )
BC: The next time they meet? Do you mean the Super.....?
Abuelito: Callate loco...La sal! No se te olvide...LA SAL !!! ( Hush... don't jinx them! )
BC: Would you care to make a prediction?
Abuelito: Si...los Cowboys no pierden un juego este ano en Texas Stadium! ( Yes...the Cowboys will not lose
a game this year at Texas Stadium! )
Patriots 48 Cowboys 27
BC: Abuelito, the game last Sunday proved a few things to Cowboy fans looking forward to this years Super
Bowl...it will be very hard to win! It looks like the only way Jerry Jones will win a Super Bowl this year is to go out and
BUY the New England Patriots! After all...they have a better quarterback, a better defense, a better #81 and lets not forget
that pesky Wes Welker!
Abuelito: Nada de confianca, joven? Tu eres el mas fanatico de los Cowboys que yo conosco! Que pasa aqui?
( You have no confidence in the Cowboys? You are the biggest Cowboy fan I know! Whats going on here?)
BC: I am a big fan it's true, but how can we deny what we saw Sunday? A complete butt whoopin' thanks to
the Brady Bunch!
Abuelito: Si, fue poco gacho...pero, todo no es perdido! A la otra que juegen, va ser differente! Anthony
Henry y Tank Johnson van a jugar. Y eso puede ser la differencia. Si Romo se saca la cabeza del chiquito, y comienza jugar
como todos sabemos que puede, entonses si, puedemos ganar! ( Yes it was bad! But all is not lost! The next time they meet,
it will be different, Anthony Henry and Tank Johnson will be playing and that in itself would be a BIG improvement. Also if
Romo gets his head out of his butt and plays like we know he can! )
BC: La sal... Abuelito...la sal!
Abuelito: Puro pinche pedo...nada que yo digo hace diferencia en ningun pinche modo de futura. Los Cowboys
ganan poque pueden y quieren! ( No such thing as bad luck...the Cowboys will win if they want it bad enough! )
BC: You are right Abuelito, perhaps I was a little rash in my assumptions.
Abuelito: Rash? Tus nalgas...loco! ( Rash? Your butt...doof! )
BC: Can the 'Boys contain Adrian Peterson?
Abuelito: Apuesta las nalgas! ( You bet your diaper rashed ass! )
Cowboys 24 Vikings 14
BC: Victory number six, Abuelito. You called it... the 'Boys were able to contain Adrian Peterson but you
wouldn't think so by looking at the Viking's first drive! It looked like he was ready to have another monster day. The
defense did a good job, especially with the Jason Hatcher strip and Patrick Watkins return for a touchdown. The offenses'
new "hurry up " offense produced the first touchdown in the first quarter of the season.
Abuelito: Si, buen juego...pero no pudieron dominar. Creo que asi va ser con los buen equipos, no jugar
magnifico pero ganar a todos modos. ( Good game, but they couldn't dominate! I guess that is the way it will be when the Cowboys
play good teams, not magnificent but good enough to win.)
BC: We have a bye this week. That will give Romo time to rest his injured hamstring and you of course, a
break from "partaking in the grape".
Abuelito: Estas loco!!! Ya tengo mi caja y chips listos para ver los Patriatistas poner le una chinga a
los cabrones Redskins. ( You're nuts!!! I have my beer and chips ready to watch the Patriots whup up on the Redskins! )
BC: Yes, of course! That will be the game of the week for all Cowboy fans. Do you really think the Redskins
will fold for the Patriots?
Abuelito: Como una pinche cilleta de yarda! ( Like a lawn chair! )
Patriots 52 Redskins 7
BC: Abuelito, another good call, the Patriots thrashed the Redskins on Sunday! This was a complete annihiliation!
The Pats were able to score at will and their defense completely shut down Washingtons' offense. The buzz around the league
is that the Patriots ran up the score and embarrassed the so called "legendary" Joe Gibbs. Your take on that?
Abuelito: Primero, que suave! Nadie es desirvido de una chinga asi que el pinche Joe Gibbs! Segundo, No
crean por un segundo que ese culero no asiera la misma cosa...si pudiera! Ese cabron , teniendo la chansa, le pucieda cien
puntos a los Cowboys! ( First... awesome! No one deserves a beating like that , more than Joe Gibbs! Second...Don't think
for a second that that a-hole wouldn't do the same thing ...if he could! That fool would put up a hundred points on the Cowboys,
without hesitation, if he was able to!)
BC: Patrick Crayton has been doing alot of talking this week. He says he wants the Patriots, BAD!
Abuelito: ESE PENDEJO!... Hasta Terrell Owens tiene mejor sesos! Crayton tiene que cayarse la boca y jugar
mejor! ( That Idiot! Even Terrell Owens has better sense than that! He needs to keep his mouth shut and play better! )
BC: Obviously, a case of " careful what you ask for" huh? Romo finally got his HUGE contract.
Do you think he is worth 67 million dollars?
Abuelito: Que locura! Estan jugando un pinche juego! Pero si siguen ganando los Cowboys, todo se vale! La
rasa con dinero...ahora salen todos los primos y buen amigos y....( Crazy! They play a freakin' GAME! As long as the Cowboys
keep winning its all good! An hispanic with money...all the long lost cousins and best friends will be coming out of the woodwork!
)
BC: Are the Patriots trying to send a message to the rest of the league?
Abuelito: Asi juegan este ano! Le juegan a los Colts esta semana y saben que tienen que hacer puntos. Como
practicas haciendo puntos? Haciendo puntos! Si no les gusta, aparen los! Sonso! (this is how they roll! They play the
Colts this week and they know that they are going to have to score a lot of points. How do you practice scoring a lot of points?
By scoring a lot of points! If teams don't like it, simply stop them! DUH!!! )
Cowboys 38 Eagles 17
Cowboys 31 Giants 20
BC: What a great past two games! The Eagles and the Giants are cooked and the Redskins are on the
grill next! The talk around the watercooler is that Wade Phillips is reaping the rewards off of Bill Parcells' years
of work. To be honest, Parcells had the cast together but his style of coaching wasn't condusive to the winning attitude required
to be one of the elite teams in the league. As Wade's daddy Bum might say, "Whod'a thunk it?" A change of coach seems to have
cured what was ailling the Cowboys. In his best move since that Papa Johns commercial, Jerry Jones decided to hire
Jason Garrett as his offensive coordinator. That, in my opinion, is the key to the Cowboys' success this year. Abuelito,
what do you think is the key to their success?
Abuelito: Leonard Davis y la linea offensiva son deservidos de mucho de el credito. Esos gigantes
le dan tiempo a Romo y asen abujedos para Julius Jones y Marion the Barbarian! ( The offensive line deserves alot of the credit.
Those giants give Romo time to throw and make holes for Jones and Barber! )
BC: Yes, you are right! The Cowboys seem to be getting better every week. But they can't afford
to get complacent. Teams that play the Cowboys always play their best! Should the Cowboys not worry about the Redskins
and the Jets and concentrate on the Green Bay Packers?
Abuelito: Pendejadas loco! Un animal irdido es un animal peligroso! ( Thats crazy! A hurt animal
is a dangerous one! )
BC: So will the Redskins give the Cowboys a game or will they lay down their bows and arrows?
Abuelito: No, esos cabrones todavilla tienen juego! ( No, those guys still have game! )
BC: Yes, a team coached by "the master" always has a chance, correct?
Abuelito: Humh! Mastorbador! ( Humh! Masturbator! )
BC: Ha Ha ! Good one, Abuelito!
Cowboys 28 Redskins 23
Every game has it's heroes...
...and zeros!
Hey Abel...try number 81, in Cowboy blue!
Abel...u da shit!!!
Pam Oliver...Daaaaaaaaamn!
Santana Moss...usually a Cowboy killer...NOT TODAY!
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
The 'skins trotting onto the field, needing a win. No Way, Abel!
The above pictures were taken by Abel DelRedskin...
i mean...DelCueto, and his wife Leslie.
Thanks guys!
BC: The Cowboys were able to squeak by the Redskins. Jason Campbell showed the NFL that he will
be a force at quarterback, fortunately for us, not this year! After a slow start, the 'Boys didn't really get things going
until Tony Romo was almost picked off...almost! Thank goodness the ball wasn't intercepted and the Cowboys were given a second
chance. Boy did they take advantage! Romo hit, the star of the game, Terrell Owens with a long ball for a touchdown! T.O.
had four touchdowns in the game and helped the 'Boys move on to a 9 and 1 record.
Abuelito: Cabrones! Pendejadas, especialmente el centro, Andre Garode, pendejo! Se le atodo un pedo!
Tres centras altas! Ya mero les mordio un el cule...pero la buena suerte de Romo y los Cowboys sigue! A un tiempo se
les acaba la suerte y ojala que que no sea contra los Patriatistas en la Super Bowl! ( Stupidity! Stupid play, especially
from the center... three high snaps would have bit them in the butt! But Romo and the Cowboys' good luck continues. One
day they will run out of luck, hopefully it won't be against the Patriots in the Super Bowl!)
BC: Yes, they really dodged a few bullets Sunday. Are you ready for some turkey, Abuelito? Oh yeah,
and the Cowboy / Jet game!
Abuelito: Como no! Familia, amigos, guajolote, los Cowboys y virongas frias...estoy alegre! Pero
cuidado con los pinche Jets! ( Yes! Family, friends, turkey, the Cowboys and cold beer...I'm happy! But, watch out for
the Jets! )
BC: Happy Thanksgiving everyone! And please drink responsibly...or at least, have a designated driver!
Cowboys 34 Jets 3
BC: Abuelito, the Cowboys feasted on the NY Jets. Did you have your fill of turkey and football?
Abuelito: Valemas que lo creas! Que suave situation! La familia mirando los Cowboys ganar y unas
frias en bolla! ( You better believe it! What a great situation, family... all together... watching the Cowboys win and
a few cold ones as well! )
Cowboys 37 Packers 27
Cowboys 28 Detroit 27
BC: An amazing finish Abuelito! Just when it looked like the Lions were going to hand the Cowboys
their second loss...WHAM! Romo and Witten deliver! Witten was given a chance to redeem himself after fumbling at the goal
line and Romo was as cool as the other side of the pillow! An amazing turn of events! I'm still reeling!
Abuelito: Si fue unos de esos pinche juegos! Me hacen tomar demasiado! ( It was one of those
games...they make me drink too much! )
BC: The Cowboys defense looked pretty sloppy, especially against the run.
Abuelito: Valemas que comiencen jugar mejor o no duran mucho en los pinche playoffs! ( They better
improve or they won't last very long in the playoffs! )
Eagles 10 Cowboys 6
BC: What a crummy weekend Abuelito, the Cowboys lost a game that they needed to win in order to insure home
field advantage and the Packers keep on rolling. What could be worse than playing on the frozen tundra that is Lambeau Field,
for the playoffs?
Abuelito: Que te la bruja de Romo alli! Desgracieda Jessica Simpson! ( For Romo's witch to be there! Unlucky
Jessica Simpson! )
BC: You don't really believe she was the cause of Romo's implosion? If she was your girlfriend, where else
would you want her to be?
Abuelito: En la cama! ( In bed! )
BC: Abuelito! That's very disrespectful!
Abuelito: Cierto... pero verdad! ( Yes... but true! )
BC: Even T.O. jumped on poor Jessica for supporting her man! But he said he was only kidding. I'ts easy
to say that after the fact...They say sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Owens only
said what everyone was thinking. Personally, I think that Romo hurt his hand and had trouble throwing the ball when he needed
to. He hurt the team with his stubbornness, if you're hurt get your butt out of the game!
Abuelito: Pinche Romo! Tiene que conocer lo mejor para el equipo. ( Dumb Romo! He has to realize what is
best for the team. )
BC: Also, the offensive line is really banged up and that causes problems that we haven't faced before.
The Cowboys need to rely more on Pro Bowl bound, Marion Barber, he has proved to be the better running back and his toughness
could be contagious. The 'Boys definately need a shot in the arm.
Abuelito: Sin medida es "El Barbarian". Esta perro! ( Barber has no equal, he's baddass! )
BC: The Panthers could prove to be a big challenge for the Cowboys on Saturday night. Will the Cowboys be
up for the game?
Abuelito: Valle mas! Yo voy estar listo de seguro! Unas allitas, papas fritas y cervesas frias...traigan
los pinche gatitos! ( They better be! I'm ready! Chicken wings, fries and cold beer...bring on the little pussies! )
Cowboys 20 Panthers 13
BC: Yeah baby! The Cowboys add another victory to their season and have the best record in team history!
The 'Boys are struggling on offense and would have a hard time against ANY team in the playoffs. The loss of T.O. hurts, but
the return of Terry Glenn could aleviate any loss of offensive firepower. The hated Redskins are the final test and what
a test they will be. The Cowboys have nothing to lose and will probably only play their starters for half of the
game. Your thoughts on that Abuelito?
Abuelito: Puro pinche pedo! Le deben de dar la madre a los cabrones! Solo la eliminacion de los Indios le
daria satisfaction a los fanaticos de deveras. ( Bulls###! They should kick their butts! Only the elimination of the
Redskins will give real Cowboy fans satisfaction! )
BC: The 'skins are playing some great ball right now and they have the whole season to play for. A loss
could eliminate them from post season play. How could they not win this game in Washington? Will pride be enough to carry
the Cowboys to their fourteenth win or will they simply be content to go into the playoffs healthy?
Abuelito: Creo yo que van a jugar para ganar, y si no, les faltan huevos! ( I believe they will play
to win and if not, they have no testicles! )
BC: We'll have to wait and see what Wade will decide to do, but I for one believe that if you let the enemy
go, you might have to fight them again in the future!
Abuelito: Orale joven...vamos a comprar la vironga para el juego. Alamejor nos sobran unas quantas
para manana! ( OK youngster ...lets go buy beer for the game tomorrow...maybe we'll have a few left for the game! )
Redskins 27 Cowboys 6
Giants 21 Cowboys 17
Abuelito: PINCHE PENDEJOS CABRONES!!! Es mucho pedir un poco de concentracion? Jerry Jones debe de mandar
a toda la bola de pendejos, menos Marion Barber, a la chingada! Romo estaba concentracionado con Jessica Simpson en Mexico,
el sicon de Patrick Crayton no concentro en la pinche pelota, Flozel Adams estaba nervioso...otra ves y la secondaria no vale
ni una chingada! (#@#@##!!! Is a little concentration too much to ask for?Jerry Jones should send all these clowns, except
Marion Barber packing! Romo was concentrating on Jessica Simpson in Mexico, bigmouth Crayton wasn't concentrating on catching
the ball, Flozell was nervous at crunch time ...again and the secondary isn't worth squat! )
BC: Abuelito, this is hardly the time to point fingers...
Abueliot: Es exactamente le tiempo! Ahorita que esta fresco en sus pinche mentes! ( This is exactly the
time to point fingers, while it is fresh on their minds! )
BC: I was saddened by their loss but you seem to be taking this especially hard...
Abuelito: Wade Phillips y Jason Garrett son nada mas que dos pendejos con titulos. Donde estaba la
offensia en la segunda mitad? El genio de Garrett desaparecio! Y pinche Phillips con su " A few plays didn't go
our way" no tiene las pelotas de reclamar mejor juego de sus jugadores! ( Phillips and Garrett are nothing more than a couple
of idiots with important titles! Where was the offense in the second half? The genius of Garrett dissappeared and Phillips
doesn't have the balls to demand better play from his team! )
BC: Good point, football players get paid alot of money to play the game at the highest levels. Romo
would be better off concentrating on the upcoming game, that is, taking the extra time to work with the often injured Terry
Glenn and developing his game instead of squandering his time in Cabo San Lucas. Patrick Crayton should concentrate more
on catching the ball than running his mouth, after all, recievers get paid big bucks to CATCH THE BALL!!! Flozell Adams
is good at what he does but he ALWAYS hurts the team when they need him the most! Roy Williams...what can you say, you gotta
love the guy, but he could never really cover the pass and now he can't even tackle! Jerry Jones must address these
issues while it is fresh on his mind, after all, he is shelling out the cash! The draft must focus on quality recievers,
defensive backs and offensive linemen if they are to ever get over this mountain of a molehill! Not everything was negative
though, there was Marion Barber! The Barbarian played his heart out and the rest of the Cowboys that gave less than 100%,
owe him an apology!
Abuelito: Ahora que? Ahuevo tengo que dar mi apollo a los Patriatistas! La perfecta estacion es mucho mas
que posible! ( Now what? I have to support the Patriots! The perfect season is more than possible! )
BC: OK sportsfans! Thats it from us for this year but like they say ( or at least we've gotten used to saying
) there's always next year! GO PATS!!!
2008 Dallas Cowboys Football
The 'boys are back!!!
Abuelito: Al fin...al fin... al pinche fin!!!
Si nunca miro otro pinche juego de golf, va ser muy pinche dentro de pronto! YEEEHAAA!!!
Vamos ay, lealistas de los Dallas Cowboys! Este es el ano que esperavamos! Amarense los
pantalones y vamos al viaje! ( Finally, finally...If I never see another golf game, it'll be too freakin' soon! Lets go, loyal
Cowboy fans! This is the year we have been waiting for! Tie it all down and get ready for the journey!)
BC: Si, mi amigo...er...Abuelito! There is talk of Super Bowls aplenty for the coming years in
Dallas, for sure... but...let's not get too carried away with the promise of greatness! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
WEEK ONE
BC: The start of the season is here and the Cowboys look SUPER...
Abuelito: Fantastico...era tiempo...que maravilla! (Fantastic ...it's about time...marvelous!)
BC: Yes!!! Abuelito, you seem to be extremely excited with the start of the 2008 season!
Abuelito: No, Loco...Sarah Palin! ( No, crazy...Sarah Palin!)
BC: Excuse me? Are you talking about John McCain's vetted running mate? The possible first female
Vice President?
Abuelito: Esta BUENA! (She's FINE!)
BC: She doesn't appear to have much experience...
Abuelito: Si, pero esta buena! (Yes, but she's fine!)
BC: Some sources say she is a vengeful, coniving former beauty queen.
Abuelito: Si... pero esta buena! (Yes, but she's fine!)
BC: Abuelito, you don't support a candidate for their looks alone...
Abuelito: Porque no? Esta muy bue....(Why not? She's fin...)
BC: Well, for one...if McCain is called to the big P.O.W in the sky, would she be able to run the
country?
Abuelito: Imaginate...Presidente Palin y Vice President Jessica Simpson...gue lindo! (Imagine...President
Palin and Vice President Jessica Simpson...nice!)
BC: Abuelito, that's just silly!
Abuelito: ...y el primer hombre Tony Romo! ( ...and the first husband Tony
Romo!)
BC: Hmmm, a Cowboy in the White house... interesting.......NO! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!
Abuelito: Devedas? La gente rica son los que corren la suidad, porque no tener algo suave en la
Casa Blanca? Que prefieres, Obama o Sarah Palin en un bikini? Er...es mejor no responder a esa pregunta...( Really? The
rich run this country, why not have something nice to look at in the White House! Would you rather see Obama or Sarah Palin
in a bikini? Er...don't answer that...)
BC: Oh...for a minute there, I thought you were serious.
Abuelito: Es puro pedo a todos modos. Niunos de estos cabrones acen para nosotros.
Solo te dicen lo que quieres oir. (It's all bull anyway, none of these guys look out for us anyway...they tell you what you
want to hear! )
BC: But they seem so sincere on their respective podiums.
Abuelito: Ni modo...es lo que hacen. Anos y anos y anos de la misma cosa y esos payasos van a cambiar
todo? Despierta joven! ( Of course, that's what they do! Years and years and years of the same thing and these clowns are
going to change everything? Wake up sonny! )
BC: You really burst my bubble, Abuelito. I never looked at it that way. Who can we believe in?
Abuelito: No te abuetes chico, sigue trabajando duro y viviendo la vida buena. Hay que creer en
nosotros mismos! ( Don't worry, keep working hard and living a good life. We have to believe in ourselves! )
BC: Can I believe in the Cowboys?
Abuelito: Seguro! Van a estar tremendo! (Of course! They will be tremendous! )
BC: So you're convinced the Cowboys will go all the way this year?
Abuelito: Solo tres cosas en la vida son siertas...muerte, taxamientos y esa pinche vieja esta BUENA!!! (
Only three things in life are certain...death, taxes and that woman is FINE!!!)
COWBOYS 28 BROWNS 10
BC: The Cowboys got off to a "running" start Abuelito! Marion the Barbarian showed that JJ's investment
is going to pay off, bigtime! And Felix Jones filled in nicely when Barber injured his ribs! Romo played well, the recievers,
especially T.O., played well and the offensive line played exceptionally well! The Dallas defense...INCREDIBLE! This was a
Cleveland team that was capable last year of racking up points almost at will! Dallas' Achilles heel, the defensive backfield,
did a great job against Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow!
Abuelito: Pinche Barber!
BC: HUH??? I thought you were a big Marion Barber fan?
Abuelito: Esta perro el desgraciado...pero es mi primer jugador en la leaga de fantasia y cuando salio del
juego, perdi la opportunidad de acer mas puntos! ( He's awesome...but he is my first pick in our fantasy football league and
when he got hurt and didn't return, that ruined the opportunity to score more points! )
BC: Whew! I thought for a minute that you were turning to the "dark side"!
BC: WHACK!!! ( he slaps me across the head )
BC: OK... I deserved that! But tell me Abuelito, do you think this team is for real?
Abuelito: El testiculo va cer el Lunes contra los Aguilas! Cierto que los Rams valen madre este ano pero,
esas Aguilas tambien son de devedas! ( The test will be Monday against the Eagles! It's true that the Rams are the sorriest
team in the league, but the Eagles are for real as well! )
BC: Does Swami Abuelito have a prediction for Monday night?
Abuelito: Los Cowboys en Dallas en Monday Night Football? Callate...ganan con dos touchdowns! ( The Cowboys...in
Dallas...on Monday Night Football? Shutup...they win by two touchdowns! )
DALLAS 41 PHILADELPHIA
37
BC: Abuelito, was this the best Monday Night Football game you have ever seen? The last Monday Night
game at Texas Stadium was a whopper!
Abuelito: Si, es verdad....pero ya no tengo unas! (Yes it is true...but I don't have anymore fingernails!)
BC: A real nailbiter...the defenses for either team failed to show up in the first half and Tony
Romo showed that his luck has run out, but, he also showed that his game is more than just luck. When the going got tough,
he showed that he has the ability to come back from play that could only be described as horrendous. He showed that he has
the ability and the heart of a champion.
Abuelito: Estaba loco el pinche juego, estos son los mejores equipos en la leaga. ( It was
a crazy game, these are the best teams in the league.)
BC: The Packers believe they are one of the elite teams as well, and the Cowboys don't have a great
record at Lambeau Field.
Abuelito: Todavilla no se han provido y Aaron Rodgers no me a ensienado nada. Ese cabron es
como Brett Farve...lechudo! ( They haven't proved themselves yet and Aaron Rodgers hasn't shown me anything. He is like Brett
Farve...lucky!)
BC: So the 'Boys will win? By how much?
Abuelito: Voy a decir...catorse! (I'm going to say...fourteen! )
Bobby Chagolla (512) 357-6238
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